Friday, 1 September 2017

Bedroom and Boobs Online

I love our new flat.

I have even taken some 'lifestyle shots' of my room to share with you, as I am so proud of my intimate space.*

My days of living in a messy pit of hell are over. Anyone who read this blog at the beginning, cast your mind back to when I would post photos of my hideous Frankenstein's Kitchen/Bedroom and talked of cooking spaghetti from inside the shower (it was a stretch, but I could reach out for the wooden spoon and stir).

No spaghetti in this room. I forbid it.

What the hell. I was trying to share those photos with myself from my phone, so I could easily add them here, and I saw an option to share them to Google Photos.

So I did that and then when I opened it on my laptop, there were ALL my photos from my phone including a few of my boobs that I took because they looked really big when I was on my period (and I've always had really small boobs).

I got the shock of my life seeing photos of my boobs staring back at me, with the button SHARE next to them.

I've used Gmail at work to open shared documents. For a horrible second I thought is this public??

To be fair, would it be that embarrassing?

If I was a celeb and they got leaked I'd just say THEY'RE MY PERIOD BOOBS THOUGH and creepy men would be disgusted by them instantly.

So be careful if you have Google mail, photos or drive or whatever it is!

Anyway, forget my swollen boobs.

'I love our new flat', is what I came on here to say.

I don't have many clothes in my bedroom wardrobe, as most stuff is in the shared walk-in wardrobe. We've put a picture of Cher inside the walk-in to inspire us when choosing clothes each day.

Now I've discovered all my photos, floating around in the fucking atmosphere for anyone to grab, I might as well put some more up. Here's one of Google's shit animations they make of your photos without bothering to bloody ask you:

It was the Church at Beatherder. Phil, Glasgow Laura, Kayt and Adam went. It was TOO GOOD TO TALK ABOUT REALLY.

Also this summer, we tricked Clare into coming on a girl's holiday in Spain. When, in the Whatsapp group a few weeks before, she asked innocently Shall I bring the spices to make chicken za'atar?, I got slightly worried that she was expecting a different type of holiday... but we had such a lovely time.

Laura and Clare drove all week so we went to some amazing beaches, hidden down the side of cliffs. There were six of us, so we rented a small people-carrier. Fun fact about being a group of girls driving a big car: every time you park, there will be a man stood watching you with his arms folded, or with his hands on his hips.

One man - and this is TRUE - shook his head, walked into his villa, then came back with his girlfriend and they sat on the step and watched Laura park.

I should have flashed them my boobs and shouted THEY'RE BIGGER WHEN I'M ON THE BLOB just to throw them off.

Here's a pic of one of the beaches, ta-ra for now!

*Not to be confused with my intimate place.

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