Friday, 9 June 2017

Peaks and Troughs and then Low Low Tory Troughs

Well I always say I don't blog because I don't do anything blog-worthy, and today I ended up on the 6 o'clock news (and potentially the 10 o'clock news).

Another reason I lost my enthusiasm for blogging, is that I suddenly felt it was self-indulgent and that I was being very narcissistic, and I've just proven that theory by writing about the fact that my mug got on the telly rather than the results of the BLOODY ELECTION!

I honestly had lost all hope. Jen, Claire, Lauren and Kayt have ALL said to me this week that hoping is the worst part, and I realised they were right. I couldn't bear the disappointment of another crushing Tory victory, after daring to hope for a slightly different outcome.

I've been so angry this week, walking home from work (it takes 1 hour 45 minutes) to calm down and try to think zen thoughts. But I would get myself all worked up thinking about people voting Tory. Like... I get they might be super rich and have never met a poor person... but can't they imagine for a second what it would be like to NOT be super rich? Can't they screw their eyes up tight and really try to concentrate, and think about what it must be like to be poor in a Tory Paradise with no NHS and no free school meals and no fucking job opportunities and also no benefits?

And if they can imagine it and put themselves in everyone else's place for a second, then why would they vote Tory?? It must be because they don't have any empathy whatsoever.

The definition of a psychopath is someone who doesn't have any empathy, isn't it?

As for Tory voters who aren't super rich... well. What the fuck is wrong with them??

You can see my train of thought.

But then.

Whattdya know?

Not only was it not a landslide victory, but it wasn't a victory at all. It was a hung parliament - it was anyone's game! Jeremy Corbyn *technically* had as much right to form a government as May...

I woke up to the sound of Lauren, Jen and Lauren's sister (who moved to London last week and got herself a job today - the streets are paved with gold I tell you) laughing and being loud and generally sounding excited.

I got out of bed to discover what had been happening through the night...

Labour had done really well, and all the doubters had to finally admit that Jeremy Corbyn has done very well.

I'm sorry but I hope all the senior Labour MPs who declared him unfit to lead, and who said that nobody would vote for him, realise now that it DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THEY THINK.

It matters what VOTERS think.

And especially young voters, this time round.

I'm not saying that in a disrespectful way, but it makes sense that if the majority of young people want something to happen, then it will be reality soon enough. That's the future. I hear you singing 'the children are our future' - and yes, that's exactly my point.

Can I just say, also, that a few people made jokes about Jeremy Corbyn coming off his allotment or making jam today... how lovely is that? With David Cameron, people were making jokes about how he put his penis into the head of a dead pig.

Anyway, I was buzzing OFF MY TITS this morning and went to work wearing a red bretron top and red lippy.

Labour HQ is really close to my office so a few of us went to cheer Jeremy as he came out and got into his car. It was mostly TV cameras, but there was a handful of supporters there too, and we stood in the rain and cheered.

A woman asked us if we would mind asking a few questions about why we voted Labour, and that's how I ended up on the news. I was so enthusiastic, she actually said to me 'But Labour haven't won the election'.

But things turned out better than I ever hoped they would, because there will be so many more MPs in Westminster to battle the Tories at every step! And also young people showed they can turn up and vote, which is great.

It was such an exciting day. I felt like a weight had been lifted from my chest. The future might not be so bleak after all..

Until May decided to form a coalition with a party that seemingly beamed into our lives from 800 years ago. I feel really bad for never having heard of them. I literally had no idea that Northern Ireland were dealing with such a dangerous, bigoted party.

And Theresa May called them her "friends".

She's a fucking piece of work, that one.

I took this at 10 Downing Street earlier this evening - the people have spoken:


  1. Hi Left Bank Manc!
    This is slightly random. Basically I'm putting together a tiny zine with illustrations and a tinyyyy bit of writing. There's this post that you made years ago, whilst I lived in Paris and read this blog! I have it saved in my notes, it's about having a crush on a lego man "obnoxious smirk". I think it's one of the funniest things I've read. I wanted to create an illustration of the 4 lego men.. and was hoping to have your permission to add the relevant text. Wasn't sure how to contact you, but my email is, if you would be so kind! Probably will just print like 100 copies of this thing and distribute freely around the city (Melbourne)..anyway maybe a long shot but I just found it in my notes and was so excited to include it but wanted permission obviously!
    Hope you hear from you,

    1. Hello, that sounds really cool! I'll email you.
      LBM x