Thursday, 14 July 2016

The State (of things)

Remember when I suggested taking all public school boys and putting them on a reserve away from normal people?

Well everyone thought I was joking and NOW LOOK WHAT'S HAPPENED.

Britain has been split in half, racists are running riot on the streets and a man who was sacked from being a journalist for 'making up quotes', a man who campaigned for LEAVING the EU and then admitted he rather liked the EU, a man who was once got stuck on a zip wire waving tiny flags, is our Foreign Secretary.

When I found out we'd left the EU, my heart broke. It doesn't feel the same, it wasn't an overdramatic knee-jerk reaction - something has changed forever. The things I used to love about England don't really mean anything anymore, it's like a sheet of rose-coloured laminate has slipped off and they mean nothing.

Obviously I missed my family and friends when I lived in France, but I also really missed the misty moors and hills, busy streets lined with Indian and Punjabi restaurants, tea and Victoria sponge cake in quiet caf├ęs filled with old ladies, pubs and fish and chips by the seaside...  

All these places and moments I romanticised, have now lost their appeal. I know it might be because I don't miss them anymore, because I'm here, but I don't think it's just that.

When I found out we were leaving the EU, I was at Glastonbury. Jen stuck her head into the tent and woke us all: "We've left the EU and David Cameron's resigned."

I burst into tears, and waked round the campsite crying my eyes out. It was so surreal, never in a million years did I ever think it would happen.

I know it sounds prejudiced, but I really think any public school boys (or girls) found to be harbouring political ambitions should be moved to a grand old house out of the way, where they can play polo and eat lovely food* - it wouldn't be cruel, I respect all human happiness - but absolutely under no circumstances would they be allowed to interfere with the running of the country. 

We could tell them that the Palace of Westminster hast been relocated to Norfolk while it's being refurbished.

It's just not appropriate for them to be in charge of normal people. Case in point: When David Cameron resigned, he was caught HUMMING A LITTLE DITTY to himself as he walked away.

Behind closed doors, he should have been crying. He should have leant against the wall, screaming and swearing, "I've fucked it all up, I've fucked up so much." But instead he sang a merry little tune to himself and said 'right' - as in 'right, what's next?'

He doesn't care because he doesn't have to. He's too privileged and rich, so he never took it seriously. It's hard to accept that something that meant so much to so many British people - and European people who were sad that we left - meant absolutely nothing to those responsible...

David Cameroon resigned in high spirits - now he can concentrate on making more money, without worrying about the public interest in his tax avoidance schemes.

Disgraced Boris Johnson is the fucking Foreign Secretary.

Oh, and the new Prime Minister has a serious problem with the European Court of Human Rights.

It all seems too much like a sitcom, part of me isn't that angry because it doesn't seem real. They're all just characters, and it's an elaborate storyline. Next week's episode will be better, I reckon.


*All funded by them, of course. This is a serious proposal and I've thought about how it would work, and the money would not come from the tax payer.


4 comments:

  1. So, I've been reading your blog for a while and I have (almost) nothing in common with you. I am older than you'll think, boring most of the time and of course not English. Please excuse the language, but I was really curious to read your take on Brexit. Apart your brilliant solution for public schoolers, your words illustrate exactly my feelings. I said to an English friend of mine, 19 years old that lives in Provence and voted to remain, that it feels like I have somehow lost something forever. To me it feels like an amputation and nowadays thinking about England it's like reaching for a phantome limb. Overdramatic, maybe, but it's how I feel and I so understand your tears. Let's hope that the next chapter will have an happier turn! Take care and my best wishes from Barcelona, Dira

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    1. Thank you Dira! Yes a lot of people in England are really sad, I'm kind of glad in a way that others in Europe feel the same - I don't want to be ostracized from the places and people I love!

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  2. Only just caught up with this. SUCH a good post. (Those public schoolboys have NO IDEA.) I was glad to see Liverpool voted to remain, at least. xxx

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    1. I didn't know Liverpool had voted to remain, makes complete sense though! xx

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