Sunday, 22 May 2016

Let Your Socks Relax... and Strippers in the Office

This was going to be a post about my tidy bedroom and then I just realised I have something else to talk about...

On Friday somebody got a stripper into the office for a girl who is getting married.

It was horrendous. The stripper was really uncomfortable, the girl was really uncomfortable... I cannot believe it actually happened.

They told the girl she was going to have a meeting with a new client, and the meeting was being filmed and streamed live in a room next door. Everyone was told to go in the room... and then when the 'client' started stripping everyone rushed in. Including me.

I kind of wish I hadn't, but I thought it would be funny. In my head he would be an old fat man in a pair of hilarious leopard print underpants and he would be really confident and loving the attention...

But he seemed like a sad man, who would have given anything to go back in time and refuse the job.

I ran out of there when he got a bottle of baby oil out, but apparently he ended up completely naked and waggling his willy in the bride-to-be's FACE. There is video evidence to prove it. I wonder if she will sue??

Anyway, this was supposed to be a quick post about my tidy bedroom.

Have you heard of the book 'The Magic of Tidying'?

The author is Marie Kondo, a Japanese Tidying Guru. She promises that after reading her book and completing the KonMari tidying method, you will never be messy again - ever. The basic principle is 'throw everything away that doesn't spark joy'.

After reading the book, which is in turns brilliant and insane (she tells loads of anecdotes about past clients, that I think are stories she has invented to back up her point), you put all your possessions on the floor and, one by one, hold them and see if they 'spark joy'.

If they don't, you thank them for their time and efforts, and get rid of them.

That's it.

Once you have decided what you want to keep, you need to make a place for it your room. Marie Kondo promises that you will find a place for everything once you're finished - as you will miraculously have thrown away the right amount of stuff.

This certainly happened for me. If I bought more clothes I don't know where I would put them, as I have just enough space for the things I have kept. I gave so much stuff to the charity shop - things I actually thought would make the cut, like a grey pencil skirt I wear all the time for work. When I held it in my hands, I felt nothing, so I gave it away.

The idea is that when you've finished, you'll only be left with clothes you really, really love. The only problem is that now none of my clothes go together. But they do all bring my joy!

My gold sequin hot pants. My cloak. My turquoise dress from Chinatown...

I didn't give away many books as I didn't have many to start with, but there were a couple of books I'd bought at airports that brought me no joy...

My room is so tidy now. Everything has a place, as you can see.

Here are the before pictures:

Here is a photo of all my clothes piled up on my bed - the point of no return:

And here are some photos of my lovely new room:

Your bag carries your things around all day, so Marie Kondo says at night you should empty your bag and give it some downtime... 

This sounds insane, but actually makes sense. I used to assume things were in my bag when they weren't. Now I have a place on my desk drawer for purse, keys, tube pass etc. and I pack my bag every morning, so I know for certain what is inside. 

Also taking the weight out of your bag means the handles aren't being strained when you're not using it, so it will help it last longer.

For the same reason as above, Marie Kondo believes you should fold socks gently and not bunch them up into potato-like balls. They look after your feet all day, and so they deserve some relaxation time in your drawers. The practical reason for folding them like this is to help save the elastic.

I haven't really nailed the folding method yet, but you can see from the photo above that it does save space when you fold everything - even jeans, tops and dresses - in Marie Kondo's special way.

So that's that! Thought I would share as when I was reading the book, I kept looking for Before and After photos online.

I have always had problems with mess. My room gets into such a state and then tidying becomes a huge job that takes hours and hours to complete. I've got rid of so much stuff, and I don't regret giving any of it away.

I am very low on knickers actually...