Thursday, 25 September 2014

Early Night

I was going to blog tonight but have just found my nana is in hospital, very ill. My brother has been trying to call me but I missed his calls and so he sent a text. Now he's not answering his phone, maybe he's at work.

I know it is a bit awkward when people announce private issues on their blog, but I would feel a bit weird posting something normal, like it was a bit disrespectful.

Apparently she has been in hospital for three weeks and my dad didn't tell me and my brother because he lost his phone. I have been pissed off at him for a while now, mainly because I decided to stop contacting him, just to see if he would ever contact me, and since the last time I called him in March, I've heard nothing... apart from a cautious text two days before my birthday saying Hello how r u

I think he half-hoped I would text back and say 'Hi dad how are you? I'm very excited for my birthday on the 7th July' but I just texted him back a standard 'I'm fine' message, giving him no clues as to when my birthday was. Ha. The day after my birthday I got a text back saying, 'Happy Birthday anyway'.

I told him thanks but my birthday had been and gone.

My mum said maybe he think texts are like telegrams and they take a few days to come through.


I received a friend request from him on Facebook about a month ago which was a complete shock because I didn't know he a) knew what Facebook was b) had an email address c) had a computer.

There was just a grey blank silhouette where his photo should be, his name and his age. I accepted his request but he seems to have since delete his account.

Also word on the grapevine is he has moved to Darlington. I thought about playing a trick on him and calling up to say I was outside his house in Liverpool in the rain, would he let me in?

And he would have to say sorry I've actually moved four hours away. I was going to tell you, never...

I guess I'm shit because I never sent my half-brothers a birthday card or anything, I never call or see them.

Have I said all this before? Lately I've been thinking it over and over and over again and now my nana's in hospital and I knew what to do. I feel like maybe I should go to Liverpool this weekend. I don't know. I can't ask my dad what to do because he won't know.

I spoke to my nana a few weeks ago on the phone, I called her out of the blue and we chatted for hours. She told me my dad had stopped with 'the ale and the funny ciggies' and had been showing up at her house every morning to make her breakfast.

I wonder.

I'm just ranting because I feel like I should be talking to someone in the family about nana but I can't. because I don't have anyone's numbers.

Here's a post I wrote a few days ago anyway.

I walked to the river, then down the steps and along the edge. Most of the way I was on my own, with nobody obstructing my view of the wide river bend. (I didn't break into the song from Pocahontas, but maybe I should have.)

It was quite a cold day, the weather report had said it would be raining all weekend but I decided I knew Paris better than anyone and I didn't feel like it was going to rain...

It did rain, a lot.

But it held off while I walked along the river, then back to Rue de Rivoli and down to the Marais. I met Abby outside L'as du Fallafel and it was just like I'd never left, both with the falafel shop- the same guys were working there and, excuse the cliche, the falafel tasted even better than I remembered- and with Abby.

It doesn't really matter how much time passes, with most of my friends it's like no time has passed at all every time we meet up, even we meet up every few years, that's how I know we're friends.

Cleo, my friend from my waitressing job, came to meet us too and we went and sat in Place de Vosges with our food. We sat on a bench and talked for ages. I miss how conversations with French people can quickly turn philosophical, or sharing of stories of friends the other people don't know and will never meet.

The only dampener on our joyous reunion was that when Abby bit into her fallafel, her tooth crumbled and fell out of her head, which has probably put her off fallafel for life.

When it started to rain, we went to find a bar and ended up in La Perle by accident. Julia met us from work and we had a few glasses of wine before heading back to Julia's. We were supposed to go to a rave festival thing on the outskirts of Paris, but by the time we got back to Julia's apartment it was raining really hard. Julia told me the rave was in a field, which put me off a little bit and then she told me the music was Pys-Trance, which put me off a lot.

Also, I was knackered from the coach. I know I say this every time I get the coach and I always go back on my word- but I'm never getting the coach to Paris again, especially not just for the weekend. Not only does it eat into your Paris time, but the impracticality of sleeping during the journey means that you have to waste a lot of Paris time napping too.

I slept for two hours, which I think makes me the worst house guest ever`. When I woke up it was quite late in the evening and we couldn't be bothered to go out. Also, at the moment Julia is a very, very poor art student (she said her lecturers actually advised them all to steal paint for their projects, when they asked how they were supposed to buy supplies) and I was skint. Too skint for Paris...

In a way it was good, because lately I've only been remembering how much more money I had in Paris and what a nice lifestyle I had, but it wasn't always like that. Remember when I survived on cake decorations and took my eye make-up off with an apple? (It wasn't very effective, but it was worth a try.)

Instead of going to a trance rave in the rain, we got Thai take-away and Julia's sister came round. We chatted all night and drank gin and tonic, it was really nice. Actually, it was nice just to catch up with people, I'm glad I didn't try and do too much.

I love talking to Julia and her sister, because they always have crazy conspiracy stories and scientific breakthroughs to discuss...

Julia's sister told me when she was studying in America a few months ago, she spilt boiling water down her leg and called her mum. Her mum put her on the phone to this guy who can help heal burns just by talking to you... Julia's sister is going to be a scientist- she doesn't believe in spiritual magic things- but it really helped heal her burn and she has since discovered these 'burn people' are actually employed in French hospitals! And nobody can say how it works.

I some people won't believe this, because some people are just fucking boring and don't believe anything they haven't seen with their own eyes (which is ridiculous, it's like me saying I don't believe in Croatia just because I have never been there), so here is a link to a blog post I've found, discussing the issue further.

(Basically, if you think it sounds mental, the people who really believe this therapy works liken it to when people can walk over hot coals unscathed using the power of their minds. I obviously don't think you should stand around on the phone when someone suffers a burn- you should act fact and then rush them to hospital- but what's the harm in calling the number on your way to the hospital, if you believe in that sort of stuff?)


The next day we slept in quite late and then went for brunch round the corner from Julia's, with her sister and my friend Cleo. (Abby couldn't come because she was sorting her tooth out at the dentist.) Instead of the brunch, I had steak frites with blue cheese sauce, because that's what I dream about in London.

It was raining heavily, but in a nice way. The streets were pale grey and quiet, trees fresh and green above. After brunch I wanted to go on la petite ceinture, but the entrance we normally climb in round the corner from Fleche d'Or was boarded up.

And it stops there.

I'm going to drag my Paris weekend out even more, now I'm off to call my brother and see if he'll pick up his phone.


  1. Sorry LBM :(
    I hope your nana will be OK. xx

  2. Hope your Nan gets well soon. I have the whole awkward parent thing but with my mum; it can be a trial but don't let it get you down.
    Love that falafel place and La Perla cocktail happy hour. It's quite worrying how deep I'm into Paris actually so I in no way look down on conspiracy theorists. In fact, those sorts of beliefs/obsessions demonstrate curiosity and develop character. *Goes off to check the burn-whisperer blog post...

    1. Thanks for commenting, sorry to hear about your strained mum relationship. It's horrible to feel awkward and wish things were normal.

      P.S The burn whisperer blog actually makes me a bit suspicious, but it's interesting anyway.