Sunday, 25 May 2014

Disco Cat

I've managed to hold off for a while, but it's time to blog about cats again. The little cat I am currently living is like an eccentric old lady. If I don't let her sit on my lap, she will sit on my wrist or my elbow, my shoulder or my laptop.





(I know what you're thinking and no, I don't change my bedding very often. Also, I haven't forgotten about Rushdie. I really hope he is happy and having a lovely time. I miss him a lot.)

Sometimes I have been sat there for about an hour, gradually losing all feeling in my arm, until the woman I'm lodging with gets up and says, "For god's sake, I love her but this is ridiculous. She's just a cat" and she moves her away for me. This is more due to the fact that, for the first time in ages, I am really, really allergic to this little cat.

But she loves to come in my bed and get under the covers with me! And curl up next to my neck! Twice I have woken up and the whites of my eyes have turned to jelly, bulging around the iris and threatening to spill out of the sockets.

I don't think my eyes would ever spill out, but that's what it feels like. They look like watery eggs that haven't been cooked properly. What's that pudding called? Bilbiblub? Ooh I like that, it's almost onomatopoeic. Her eyes had turned to bilbiblub. I've had to go to work a couple of times looking like a swamp monster with two bulgy eyes, half-closed. 

I'm trying really hard not to let this little cat into my room. That meant listening to her meowing outside my door this morning for what must have been a solid hour. She's very persistent. I know you are fascinated by cats as much as I am so here is the transcript:

EEEEOOOOW.
EEEEEOOOOW.
EEEOOOOOWWWWW!!!!
Eeeoooww?
Eeeooow.
Eeeeeoow.
Eeow :(

...

EEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
EEEOOOWWW!
EEEOOOW.
EOOOOWWW???
EOW?
EEOOW?
EEOOW???
Eeeoow.
Eooow?
Eoooww?
EEOOWWW???
Eow :(
Eowwwwwww :(
Eow :(

...

Eow?

....

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!

At that point I leapt out of bed and let her in. I went downstairs to make a cup of tea and she followed me (then overtook me, so she could stop on each step and yell EEEOOOWWW again when I tried to step over her). She led me to her empty bowl and I felt a bit bad- she just wanted food.

I am such an egomaniac.

Let me quickly talk some more on cats. Next door have SEVEN CATS. Now we all know I love cats and I love the number seven (everything is seven, TC told me the other day that after my birthday- the 7th of the 7th, there are exactly 177 days left in the year!) but even I think seven cats is too many cats and not a great use of the number seven.

The seven cats dig up my landlady's garden and poo in it, plus they are like a family gang and they attack her poor little cat, making her too scared to go out of the house alone, so understandably my landlady chases them out of her garden yelling death threats. She urged me to do the same, but I'm too embarrassed to shout at them, so I just run at them.

The other day I ran at them and went back inside the house, then turned around to see their little faces peering round the corner of the hedge like a cartoon, to see if I had gone.

They are a bit scary to be honest.

Sometimes I'll see one looking at me through the window and the next thing you know, three of four of them have snuck in the garden for a poo or a casual sit down. They're crafty. And somehow, even though I chase them away, they know I don't mean it and two seconds later they are all back in the same position, either pooing or casually sitting down, reveling in their feline power.

Spot the cat through my bedroom window:



I've just realised I have written quite a long blog post about cats, and I wanted to write about last weekend before I go out. I'm going to a daytime disco rave today. I know I link everything back to Paris but it reminds me of last year, when me and Kayt went to Coco Beach.

God, just read the old blog post and Coco Beach was actually the end of April. But it was so hot and sunny! Talk about looking back on things through rose-tinted glasses though, on the way home from Coco Beach we were chased back to Kayt's by a pervy horrible man- literally chased, we were running really fast and so was he. His mates just hung around as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening.

But that was then and now is now and today I am going to be... a disco dancer.





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