Wednesday, 18 September 2013


Still unemployed.

This is karma because I turned down that shitty Food Runner job at the Japanese restaurant.

A few days after telling the restaurant I wouldn't be taking the job because I'd been offered a job in my chosen career Social Media (i.e. I'd rather sit at home checking my Facebook than clear dirty plates away for rich arseholes), I had a trial shift at an English restaurant. It didn't go very well- as soon as I walked in they stuck a pinny on me and left me to it. I had no idea what to do with myself. The manager said she was too busy to 'look after me'. I was so nervous I forgot to take the foil off a bottle of wine before I opened it. I stood to the side of the table twisting the corkscrew round for ages, getting more and more panicky, before I realised what I'd done. Needless to say, I didn't get a call back.

Then there was the bar that kept calling me, asking when I could start and trying to arrange a trial shift. Every time I would say, 'I can start whenever' and they'd say 'Great, we'll call you back when we've sorted the rota out' and they NEVER did. I contacted them about three times and each time was the same. I really liked that bar as well. Although. When I had my interview, I was being really chatty and confident and I thought it was going really well, then at end the bar manager said:

"Well, go to your trial at the Japanese restaurant and if you don't like me, call me tonight and we'll get you in. Here's my number. Actually, I'll give you my email address. Email me. Otherwise my girlfriend will be like 'Grr who's this girl calling you?'"

Why did he feel the need to drop his girlfriend into the interview? Did he think I fancied him? Did he think I was just pretending to be desperate for a job so I could trick him into giving me his phone number?

I feel like going in to the bar one evening and yelling 'I'M NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU' but I don't think that would help the situation.

Yesterday I marched round Camden in the pouring rain, handing out CVs. A few places said they'd call me, probably out of pity because my ballet pumps were filled with muddy water and my handbag had broken so I'd stuck it back together with sticky tape.

Actually, I do have something else to talk about other than job hunting, but I'm not sure if I can go into it or not.

Long time readers will be familiar with my pattern of arranging to go on dates with complete dickheads who cancel and then insist we rearrange and then cancel and then rearrange and then cancel again and again. (Does anyone remember Mizmiz Man?)

Well. I broke my pattern- I went on an Actual Date. We arranged to go for a drink. We both turned up. Then I admitted that I'd never really been on a date before and that I wasn't sure when it was supposed to end, so he told me dates don't have to end they can go on and on if everybody is enjoying themselves. After drinks we went for something to eat and then we went for a coffee.

Damn I wish I could remember if I'd told him about my blog or not, so I could reveal more details.

Anyway, are you ready to be terrified? I'm staying with TC and OJ this week and they showed me a video they discovered on YouTube of Rolf Harris covering a Divinyls song. For any non-Brits reading, Rolf Harris was a national treasure (even though he is Australian) until very recently, when it was discovered that he is probably a paedophile.With that in mind, have a listen to this:

Guess what! Two seconds ago TC and OJ found out that they have had their offer accepted on a house, how exciting! They have been trying to buy a house for ages. How weird is it that a few months ago TC was just a commenter on my blog and since then I have been to their wedding, to SGP and to Bristol with all their friends and now I am staying in their flat?

Talking of flats...

The first weekend I met TC and OJ, we went to a rave in a cave (The Crave) with their friends Nat and Matt who were visiting from London... and in a few weeks I am moving into a flat with Nat! It's in North London and it has a little garden. Nat says we can make pies together and that we don't have to do the washing up straight away.

Of course, it's Number 7.


  1. I'm moving to France (Antibes) in October and I'm soon au pair! Merci, this blog is very useful and you've given some very good advices! :)

    1. You're very welcome, have fun in Antibes!

  2. Hey LBM, I've been reading your blog for a few months now. I was living in France and moved to London two weeks ago. My housemate is an actress who works at a call centre for....wait for it....actors. The concept is they only hire drama people and are flexible so that if you have to go to a casting, drama-y thing, you're free to not come in to work that day. Let me know if you'd be interested and I can try and find out more.


    1. Thanks! Although I don't think I'll be doing any drama-y things unfortunately. What kind of call centre is it?

  3. Gah, I already hate guys who feel the need to drop the "I have a girlfriend" if you ask them what time it is, but in an interview?!? Really? And he has some major relationship issues if he couldn't just say to his girlfriend "a girl is calling me because I interviewed her for that job at the bar this morning". (Also hate guys who talk to you for two hours on Valentine's Day and then when they leave the bloody BARTENDER tells you they have a girlfriend. Not that that has happened to me.)

    So the date went well then? Seeing him again?

    Good luck with the continuing job hunt x

    1. Ha ha exactly, I thought he's either being really arrogant and big-headed OR he has a psycho girlfriend. But more horrifying is your Valentine's Day story... How did the bartender know??? And yes I thought the date went well, I saw the guy again on Friday. You never know though with boys...

    2. We were both regulars at this bar, I've seen him a bunch of times since at the bar and he's never mentioned a girlfriend, so maybe the bartender was wrong. On the other hand, obviously nothing ever happened either. Yay for dating success, now for job success!

    3. Maybe the bartender was wrong! Anyway, I'm not sure about the dating success but I've got a bar job starting next week!