Thursday, 14 February 2013

V Day


Happy V Day. I've just bought myself a chocolate heart from Marks and Spencer's to celebrate. I felt ridiculous picking it up off the shelf. I caught the security guard watching me... He knew I was buying it for myself. I ran round the rest of the food department, trying to find something else to buy and cover up for the fact that I was buying myself a chocolate heart, but I really didn't need anything. By the time I took my heart to the till, I was convinced everyone was smirking at me. I contemplated taking out my phone and having an imaginary conversation with a friend:

"Hi! How are you? Are you still up for that incredibly cool and exclusive party later? Guess what? I've got you a little surprise for Valentine's Day! Yeah... yeah...ha ha. It's just something small. Yeah... Ok, see you later!"

But then I thought, if you can't buy yourself a chocolate heart on Valentine's Day...

You may as well be dead.

It has a question mark on so maybe it's not actually from me, maybe it's from a secret admirer who is so shy that he can't even bring himself to give me a chocolate heart; he had to leave it on the shelf in Marks and Spencer so I could pick it up and pay for it myself...


(Me and B were telling Holly the other day how we actually have a whole gang of Secret Admirers- they were originally two gangs, one dedicated to each of us, then they met whilst stalking me and B at the same club- but they are very shy and don't feel worthy of our love yet, so they live underground and train to be the best possible boyfriends they can be, much like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. At the end of a hard day's training with their rodent martial arts master, they all get pizza and talk about what they like best about us.)

I don't normally buy myself things for Valentine's Day by the way ('I saw this and thought of myself, love from me')- it was an impulse purchase. I had originally gone out to buy a new blusher brush, but as I approached Sephora I saw there was a huge crowd outside- the staff were doing that thing where they line up at the front of the shop, applauding and cheering anyone who walks in or out. Needless to say, I kept on walking.

Thanks to Sephora I ended up impulse buying a chocolate heart and a t-shirt from H&M.

Sigh.

I didn't mean to bang on and on about Valentine's Day. I wanted to tell you about last weekend because this weekend is fast-approaching. (I know I say it all the time but how do the weeks fly by so quickly??)

The lesson I learnt last weekend is: I need to stop buying gin and leaving it at other people's houses.

The woman in my local Franprix has taken to asking me if I want a bottle of gin before I've even put my crisps and salsa/chocolate fingers/gummy bears down on the counter, because she knows she will have to get up and fetch it for me. A part of me wants to explain to her that I get my food shopping free with my job- I don't just live off gin and snacks.

But more importantly, I need to stop buying gin because I need to stop drinking it. It turns me into a hysterical housewife, without the house or the husband, just the manic emotions and mascara smeared all over my face.

On Friday night I had to buy gin because I was going to somebody's flat for drinks and I couldn't go round empy-handed...

It was a flat belonging to three Italian Girls who I've met a couple of times through Ruth. They're really lovely and they told Ruth to invite me along to a Drinks Thing they were having on Friday evening.  I decided I would go there for pre-drinks before meeting B and Holly at Social Club for 2ManyDJs. I felt really independent and mature, flitting about Paris for various social engagements, until I got to Gambetta and ended up wandering around in the freezing cold for forty minutes and the Italian Girls had to leave their flat to come and get me. Turns out there are two post offices on the same road...

Anyway, I got lucky because I told Ruth I'd already eaten and instantly regretted it once I found out they were making food but when I got there, Elena- one of the Italian girls- insisted on making me up a plate. Oh alright then, I'll have two teas, if you insist...

It got later and later. We drank and talked, then we walked to a bar in Menilmontant and I realised it was about half one- I had to get to Social Club. I felt really drunk all of a sudden and didn't think I could cope with the metro, so I tried to get a taxi.

There were no taxis, obviously. I wandered about getting more and more panicky, until I saw that I'd wandered to the next metro stop along- Père Lachaise. B and Holly texted me to say they'd just got off the metro near Social Club, I didn't have time to look for a taxi- there was no choice but the metro. As I walked down the steps, I noticed that people were legging it to the platform, so I followed suite, thinking that the last metro must be coming...

I reached the platform just as they announced that the metro had finished.

Gaaaah I have to go to work now I'll finish this later, unless the underground gang of LBM and B Admirers have planned a romantic surprise for us, maybe a gondolier ride down the sewers...

11 comments:

  1. It sounds like you have a good thing there in Franprix hehe! Whenever I buy alcohol from the supermarket, I get suspicious looks and several people asking for ID. I always want to shout "It's not my fault I look 12!"

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    1. I hadn't thought of that, I suppose it is good how I never get asked for ID... or does that mean all the gin has made me look haggard and old? Thanks for commenting!

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  2. Ha ha love the idea of gangs of Very Secret Admirers! And gin is great! It makes me feel like a sophisticated grown-up as opposed to a dirty teen quaffing back pre-mixes. Plus I quite like imagining I might be a bored 50s housewife trying to induce an abortion by means of copious gin drinking (who doesn't?)

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    1. I love a bit of gin-induced role play, just don't get carried away and chuck yourself down the stairs... I like to pretend I'm the wife of an army major in the Raj... cursing my corsets in the Indian heat. I've only just found out that tonic water was invented by English people working out there in 'the empire' by making quinine (is that what I mean?) solution fizzy and less bitter, then they mixed it with gin. Now I love gin and tonics even more.

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  3. I'm giving myself a Zumba video download for Valentine's day. One that I will probably do once and then leave on my hard drive forever to give me dirty, judgmental looks while I instead watch Dirty Dancing for the 700th time. By the way, love your blog, which inspired me to write my own blog about Au Pairing in Paris, where I have written my thoughts on Valentine's day here: http://kathleentheaupair.blogspot.fr/2013/02/city-of-love-huh.html.

    (subtle right?)

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    1. Thank youuu! I will check out your blog now. Dirty Dancing is much better than Zumba...

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    2. It really is. Maybe I can turn that into a work out video.

      And thanks for checking it out! Suddenly really self conscious...

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  4. Having LBM withdrawal symptoms - time for a new post! (Pleeeease...)

    p.s. Hope you're too busy enjoying yourself to post...

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    1. Thanks for commenting, I have just finished a new post, sorry to leave it so long! (But glad you missed me.)

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  5. I second this!

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    1. Thanks, like I said above, I've just written a new post, enjoy!

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