Tuesday, 5 February 2013


I've killed Mizmiz Man off for good.

He texted me on Friday, asking me if I was out that night so that we could 'finally' see each other- as if it was random, extenuating circumstances that had prevented us from meeting up all those other times, rather than the fact that he Didn't Show Up. He even added a little smiley face. I texted him back a rather abrupt message in French saying:

Why? You won't come, like always.

Then, I added in English, just to unsettle him a little bit:

Why bother?

I vaguely wondered if I would see him at Le Mizmiz on Saturday night- it was the Street Bass night again- but he wasn't there. There were however, a couple of perverts sporting ponytails and camouflage pants. I don't know what happened, last time it such a fun night. The music was better last time as well, on Saturday it was more bass than 'future garage' and they didn't play any dancehall. The DJ was in a dark mood, playing bass and dubstep that made me feel like sitting in a shadowy corner with my hood up, when what I really wanted was to roll my hips around and bounce about.

We left before it finished- me, Kayt, B and her friend Holly- and I stayed at Kayt's. We stayed up for about an hour, mispronouncing medical terms and pissing ourselves. (We get our kicks where we can.)

The next day we couldn't stop mispronouncing things and laughing hysterically. I asked Kayt where we were getting off the metro and she said 'Bahrebez Rockakooah' instead of Barbes Rochechouart.

Then, a French man in disgusting trainers leant over and loudly told us the correct pronounciation.

Never mind that we were being silly, how fucking audacious!

Can you imagine doing that in England? A tourist gets on the tube. You overhear them mispronouncing the name of a tube stop, so you decide to laugh and whisper to your friend about it. Then you cough pompously, lean over with a smug smirk on your face and say, "OXFORD. CIRCUS."

The only people who do that in England are right wing racists. (I know what you're thinking- the man in hideous trainers could have been a racist right wing French person and but that sort of thing has happened to me a lot in Paris.)

The next time somebody rudely tells me that we should speak in English because they can't understand my French, I'm just going to give them a pitying look and calmly say:

"Frankly, that shows a real lack of initiative."

Anyway... not sure what the point of this post was.

This is good, isn't it?


  1. How the heck do you pronounce Rochechouart? Rosh-shoe-ah?

    1. Ro-she-shuar
      The 'ro' rhymes with the beginning of 'top', the 'she' rhymes with the little letters p, b, t and f and 'shuar'... I can't think of anything it rhymes with and I don't think 'shuar' really describes it.

      Just call it Rockakooah for Good Times.

  2. Mizmiz man has clearly died!

  3. I like your pronounciation better :) French people can be so uptight sometimes. I'd like to see them pronounce "thorough" or "worcestershire" :p

  4. The thing that annoys me the most is when you say ibruprofen or paracetomol and if you fuck up even in the slightest they have absolutely no idea, not the foggiest, what you are saying...even though THEY ARE THE SAME

    1. I think French is really hard to learn because you feel like you have to perfect straight away, so it stops you from even trying. I think with other languages, especially English, you can get it wrong and everyone still knows what you mean. Maybe that's because English people are less likely to speak a second language though, so we try harder to understand people!

  5. we are definitely less likely. is it wrong to actually be so pleased im english in terms of music and films...i went to see django and just thought i'm so glad i don't have to watch this dubbed or read silly subtitles. is that bad of me to think? same with my friend at work who loves english hip hop and grime (ha), and i just think but you'll never reaaaaaaaaaaaaally appreciate it because it uses words that you just definitely don't understand. am i a horrible person?

    1. Depends how good her English I suppose! I'm glad I don't have to watch English films dubbed but I don't think ANYBODY should watch dubbed English films, just as I would never watch a dubbed foreign film- it's ridiculous. Subtitles are so much better!