Tuesday, 4 December 2012

The Lives of Others

I've just remembered what happened when we got back from Le Mizmiz...

Me and Julia went back to Kayt's, because we weren't tired and none of us felt like the night was over. We thought we would see the sunrise in with a gin and tonic and some chats, I don't think we even put any music on...

At about 6.30am, Kayt's neighbour started banging on the wall which is absolutely outrageous, because Kayt has to listen to them arguing constantly and a lot of the time they argue really early in the morning. The walls are so thin that she can hear every word, normally the arguements are about the fact that the woman wants to have sex and her husband doesn't.

Me and Kayt feel really sorry for the wife, because it seems as if her husband has no interest in her. He doesn't even live in Paris all of the time, most of the time he works in Dublin. He's some sort of business man and only comes back to see his wife every few weeks. Kayt knows all this because she has spoken to the woman in the corridor a few times.

Orginally, we wondered why they were still keeping up the pretence of being together; obviously the man had either a boyfriend or another woman in Dublin and he was hiding his French wife away in a tiny chambre de bonne, refusing to have sex with her and shouting at her all the time, like she was the mad wife in the attic from 'Jane Eyre'.

Then one night, when Kayt knew for a fact that the husband was in Dublin, she heard the woman having very noisy sex. She heard her pacing around in high heels and then she heard the unmistakable sounds of wild, loud sex- the mattress groaning, the bed moving across the floor, that sort of thing...

When Amy came to stay for a few days, we all slept at Kayt's one night and me and Amy had the misfortune to hear the neighbour cheating on her husband. I could mainly hear the man, emitting the deepest, most aggressive grunts I have ever heard. It was quite scary- I was imagining this huge monster of a man, thrusting violently on the other side of the wall, just inches away from my head. They kept us up all night and we didn't know whether to be amused, scared, disgusted, or annoyed.

So you can imagine our surprise when either the wife, or her unsuspecting husband, started knocking on the wall after Le Mizmiz. I could imagine the wife frozen, waiting with bated breath to see if we would quieten down, or if her husband would be forced to knock on Kayt's door... perhaps she was wondering if we would spill the beans on her all-night grunting sessions.

We did quieten down however, so no beans were spilt. Also, we're not horrible dickheads and we would never shop her in.

A few days later, Kayt saw the husband in the corridor and apologised to him for the noise. He told her that she had nothing to worry about and that he had tried to stop his wife from knocking on the wall. He assured Kayt that he had no problem with people making a little bit of noise on a Saturday night...

Now we are convinced he is emotionally abusing his wife, undermining her and trying to make her look stupid. Maybe he knows she is cheating on him. If he won't have sex with her, what does he expect? I'm glad she's getting a shag from somewhere, poor girl.

Anyway, that is our theory. Of course we have no actual clue what goes on next door, but in Paris it's too easy to imagine a life for the people you hear but rarely see, on the other side of the wall. We thought Kayt's last neighbours were a couple with odd voices who were always arguing about their dog... then one day we realised it wasn't a couple- it was a Portuguese transsexual whose voice alternated between a squeaky lady voice and a deep baritone. She was always shouting at her dog.

Incidentally, on Sunday I finally saw 'The Lives of Others'- one of those films that you keep meaning to watch but never get round to it. It's brilliant, the best film I have seen in years, apart from 'Lawless'- we all know how I felt about that...

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