Monday, 24 December 2012


Merry Christmas, slags.

My mum just took the bottle of sparkling wine out of my hand and said she was going to be in charge of the pouring. I do feel light-headed actually, but it's Christmas! And I'm home!

I got home about an hour ago, I got the Eurostar yesterday and spent last night and all of today at my stepdad's brother's house, because he was driving from London to Manchester tonight. It was a little bit awkward because I have only met him and his wife a couple of times, but they are really nice. Last night their little girl was at her grandparent's house so I got her room and I pretended to go to bed early but really I played with her doll's house. The living room furniture was all mixed up with the bedroom furniture and it needed sorting out.

I'm paranoid that my mum and stepdad are being weird with me, maybe my stepdad saw my tweet about Dial-a-Dick before I realised he was following me and blocked him. Maybe he told my mum and together they have been discussing what a terrible crude person I am with loose morals. Oh God.

Guys, I am buzzing for Christmas.

Tomorrow we are having quite a lot of Jewish people round to celebrate Christmas with us, half of them visiting from Israel. I'm not really sure how this all came about but all in all there will be fifteen of us tomorrow Jews and non-Jews alike, including my cousin Sophie who surely will get drunk with me. But am I allowed to get drunk when demonstrating how to celebrate Christmas to people who have never had a Christmas before? Maybe I will get really drunk and start singing Hava Nagila. Probably I should not drink very much. There is a lot of food.

I still have presents to wrap. I got my dad a tin of sardines for Christmas, if he doesn't like it he can NOB OFF because he didn't get me anything last year.

ALSO my number of followers is finally SEVENTY SEVEN! Those of who know me or who have read my blog for a long time will know about my obsession with the number seven. YESSSSSSSS.


  1. Merry Christmas LBM! I think *not* getting drunk would give an inaccurate representation of Christmas to your guests.

    1. God point... Hope you had a lovely Christmas, wherever you were in the world! x