Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Stop it stop it.

Unbelievable.

Annabelle, the woman who runs the drama classes, asked me if I could cover her lesson on Thursday evening, which is 5pm to 6pm, and I said no because I had a private English lesson, a job that she got me essentially, by putting in a good word for me with her friend. Annabelle messaged me back saying 'I thought you had your au pair job at that time? The problem with me giving you all these private lessons is that you can never cover for me! We need to discuss it.'

I was going to send her a polite message back, detailing these points:

-the main reason I decided to stay in Paris for another year was to teach drama classes

-I got back to Paris in September to be told I wouldn't be teaching any classes of my own

-I didn't kick up a fuss or even mention the fact that I had been... let's say... 'mislead'

-I know she wants me to substitute her lessons, but I cannot afford to teach one lesson every month, I need to be teaching as much as possible, which is why I'm very appreciative of the private lessons she has sent my way

However, I didn't send her this message because I didn't have time. I literally haven't had a second to think for about eight days and I'm sick and tired and I have a very short fuse at the moment. Also, she said we needed to discuss it, so I thought we should sit down properly and I could explain to her how I feel about the situation

Then about an hour ago Annabelle sent me a message to say that rang up the mother of the children I teach on a Thursday (who happens to be her friend, that's how I got the job) and told her that I couldn't teach the lesson this week, because I had to cover for her.

"Is this ok?" she added at the end of the message.

I absolutely cannot believe she has done this. I feel really scared and paranoid, like people are trying to control me and take over my life.

I CANNOT STAND IT when people tell me what to do.

I sent her a message back to say that the lesson I teach on a Thursday is 5pm until 5.45pm, giving me plenty of time to get to my au pair job. The drama lesson finishes at 6pm and then I will have to wait for the parents to arrive and stay behind to tidy up the classroom. There is no way I can do it. Besides, I've already messed about my Thursday class, because one week the au pair family needed me to come in early and I had to cancel.

This is so, so out of order.

I don't know what to do, because Annabelle is really nice. Why has she done this?

27 comments:

  1. Annabelle obviously feels the plans she has instead of her drama class are more important than inconveniencing you. She has the upper hand in all of the above and she's well and truly abused that.

    I'd be majorly pissed off if this was me. What an awkward situation :/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's not fair is it? Yeah it's awkward because she has the upper hand, not a lot I can do...

      Delete
  2. Tea. Cake. Breathe. And then reply, detailing how, although you are grateful for her help in getting you these jobs, you feel it is out of line to contact your private student directly. She is not your manager for everything, she is the manager for one of your jobs.

    Alternatively, just give her the evils next time you see her, and scream inside.

    I. G.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the helpful advice! I did have some tea and cake and I calmed down a little bit, still not sure how to address it though, might go with the evils plan...

      Delete
  3. Ah, that sucks that she thinks she can basically guilt-trip you on things because she helped you out. Irina's advice sounds good, I don't know if you can also look at whether you've stretched yourself a bit thin in general?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm maybe, or maybe I'm just getting stressed out for no reason and I need to calm down? Pfft.

      Delete
  4. WHAT?! Your friend/co-worker CANNOT BE SERIOUS!!

    ***John McEnroe voice***

    *Just realised that's a pic of the Spice Girls. Thought it was you and some friends...*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HA! I wish me and my friends were the Spice Girls, so much.

      Delete
  5. Well, I think you kind of overreacted. Get a cup of tea (or 2 glasses of wine) and keep cool.
    I've been reading through your blog and I understand you basically came to Paris to be an aupair and to take care of kids. On top of that, as you needed to make some more money, you got additionnal jobs, which is fine and really shows you want to make ends meet on yout own.
    However, your top priority should be to look after the kids and nothing else.
    You girls sometimes seem to suffer some kind of "princess syndrom": a bit selfcentered, complaining about everything, used to have all your wishes fulfilled and not ready to compromise. You just have to face the fact that you are not alone on earth and that some people think they can rely on on you. So the questions are: are you reliable and can they trust you ?
    If not, just quit the aupair job and keep the others.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't come to Paris to be an au pair, I came to live in Paris because I wanted to live in Paris. To support myself I work as an au pair, because it's fun and I'm good at it.

      Obviously I am reliable and trustworthy or the au pair family wouldn't have asked me to stay for another year.

      When I am working my au pair job, my priority is to look after the kids. When I am NOT working I can do whatever the fuck I want, including other jobs.

      Delete
    2. To the above commenter- what a bitch. You're an au pair mum, right? How did I guess. Maybe you should read a bit more carefully. The problem isn't with her au pair job, it's with her lessons and the woman from the drama school overstepping her boundaries. Also I know very few princesses who live on 80 euros a week. Don't kid yourself, no one volunteers to be an au pair to 'look after kids', they do it so they can get pissed on a weeknight and not get up early and get a free studio. But hey, whatever you need to tell yourself. We're all there because your 'angels' are such a joy to be around. Funny isn't it, how the underpaid Paris au pairs are so oft criticised and not the parents who choose penthouse apts and summer homes over being home to put their kids to bed.

      Cry me a river.

      And yes, that was a massive generalisation much like 'you girls'. Maybe if au pairs were paid hourly and above minimum wage with set hours and holiday pay they wouldn't need to seek additional employment. I think we're all well aware that the real definitions of 'au pair'- someone who is integrated into the family on exchange for helping with the kids and pocket money and accommodation- is a myth. In reality au pair families want a nanny for the price of an au pair.

      Leave LBM alone- regardless of the circumstances no one should be able to dictate how your time is spent. Even if they did help you find a job.

      Amy
      X

      Delete
    3. HOLLA AMY
      You do your job, get paid and thats the end of it none of this "your top priority should be to look after the kids and nothing else." aupair-parent bullshit


      LBM you're fabulous don't take any shit off this Annabelle girl.

      Bisous

      A Garcon Aupair

      Delete
    4. Thank you Garcon Aupair for this comment and for the one below, I do feel kind of fabulous now you've said it x

      Delete
  6. ok, being reliable means being available when people actually need you, nothing more, nothing less.
    you wrote "I CANNOT STAND IT when people tell me what to do" which is a bit too much because unless you were born with a silverspoon in the mouth or live alone on a tiny carribean island, and can thus avoid having to live with your peers or work for someone else (could be a boss or clients), you will have to accept external constraints.
    that's life as it is, a bit different from what we would all like it to be.
    by the way, it's amazing the quantity of "fuck" i found on this blog (very funny and interesting blog by the way).
    don't be upset by my comments, I admit i am playing a bit with your nerves :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't try and play down reliability - it is a great quality to have, especially when children are concerned.

      Most people hate being told what to do - LBM is an adult, and not many adults are treated like children; the way that Annabelle has treated LBM, so that comment is not fair.

      By the way, this is her blog so who cares what words she uses? If you're mortally offended by swearing, the internet is probably not the place for you.

      Delete
    2. Thanks for the support x

      Delete
  7. Hi,
    LBM chose to share her life on the web and tell the whole world how she feels.
    she should know her blog is highly followed on the aupair community and that whatever she writes is her responsability.
    posting things online means you are ready to meet contreversy, otherwise, you just send your impressions by email to your friends, i mean the ones you are sure they share your views.
    if you don't like discussions, don't speak out your thoughts.
    by the way, i have a lot of respect for lbm who seem to be a very responsible and strongwilled person
    Regards

    ReplyDelete
  8. And by the way, being called a "bitch" by people you don't know is an interesting experience who tells o lot about people,s education these days. i never though the web was a place where you take advantage of being anonymous to insult people. One more thing, whoever dislikes host families is free to get back home and get a regular job.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But it's fine to take advantage of the web to judge people and tell them how to live their life...? under the cloak of anonymity hey?

      A Garcon Aupair

      PS: Cloak reference :)

      Delete
    2. 'who tells o lot about people,s education these days.'
      Nice grammar whilst talking about education. Props to you, I assume you are either a fantastic satirist and should be celebrated thusly, or a complete idiot. I know which my money's on.

      Yours,
      Olivia

      Delete
  9. Ok, my name is Jeanne Delaval, i am 45 years old, i have three kids, i leave 51 rue copernic in Paris, 16 eme, and have been having aupairs for years. i am part of a host family association whose members are happy to welcome girls and are shocked by the comments on this blog, by how some girls seem to hate their condition, whatever is done for them.
    i don't blame, I don't judge, I just gave comments on posts sent on an open place, which what the web is.
    Private conversations can be shared with friends on facebook, posting them on blogs is their authors responsability.
    i wish you all a nice stay here and really hope the majprity of you enjoy the way the have been welcomed.
    We never had any bad experience with aupairs and wish it remains so.
    Best regards

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You talk about responsibility and priorities of looking after children, yet you publish your full name and address on the internet?! Way to keep your kids safe, Jeanne Delaval, 45, mother of 3, 51 rue copernic, 75016.

      Oh and before I go, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, 'I' is ALWAYS capitalised. I now fear for the safety and the future intelligence of your three children. Thank God you have an au pair.

      All the best,
      Olivia

      Delete
  10. More satirist than idiot, i hope, but definitively not used to my kids ipad's keybord.
    Kind regards

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can't be a satirist, if you don't understand irony.

      Your child has an ipad, I wouldn't be sounding off about being born with a 'silver spoon in your mouth' if I were you.
      Pot calling the kettle black?

      Olivia

      Delete
  11. dear Olivia,
    I don't know you, don't want to argue with you but am amazed by your bitterness which turns into animosity towards anything or anyone (me in this case) which does not fit in your world.
    all this is just a web discussion between adults, no need to get mad about it.
    Have a good day (and a good life)
    wishing you all the best
    Good luck for the future

    ReplyDelete
  12. No wonder you sometimes suspect your au pair family read your blog, LBM! Good job you don't post your photo! GM x

    ReplyDelete
  13. It's only a matter of time GM before I am outed... I'm sure of it!

    ReplyDelete