I feel so sad that I'm not moving to London.
I can't remember why I decided to stay in Paris for another year. I've told the family now and so I'll stay. I know people think I'm being ridiculous but I hate letting people down.
I think I was waiting for someone to say 'Come home, come back.' and nobody did. Around the time I made my decision to stay, I was just fed up of not knowing and I think I wanted somebody else to make the decision for me. I told the family I was leaving and they persuaded me not to go... I wanted to be persuaded.
When I was trying to make the decision, I spoke to my mum on Facebook Video Chat and I expected her to say 'Come home, come back'. She said 'I think you should stay there.'
She pointed out that I've been moving around every few months since I was 18, it might be nice to settle in one place for a while. It will definitely be easier and cheaper to stay where I am for another year. I am tired of moving, the thought of packing up all my stuff and transporting it to another country is exhausting.
It seems as though this is the year that everyone is moving to London- Claire, Jen, Lauren have all got jobs in London. Even Olivia and Mez from Paris are moving back in September to finish their university degrees.
I can't remember why I decided to stay, I feel as though I'm being left behind and just rotting here, into nothing and fading.
I feel really, really sad.
On the plus side, I bought a lip liner from MAC on Saturday and I can't believe I've never used lip liner before! I found the shade closest to my natural lip colour (it's called Subculture) and I have been wearing it everyday with lip balm over the top. My lips look subtly plumper and have a more defined shape.
Swings and roundabouts.
Here are two music videos that have made me cry, maybe because of the current emotional state I'm in but still, have a look. I love music vidoes with a good old narrative to them!