Thursday, 21 June 2012


So we're going back a couple of weeks now but just for the hell of it, here's an account of Friday 8th June...

Ricky wanted to have one last rave with his 'Paris girldem' and he suggested going to see Heidi at Wanderlust. I hadn't heard of the place, which is embarrassing, but a quick text to Julia revealed that Wanderlust is a new outdoor venue, created by the same people behind Social Club and Silencio.  It turns out Wanderlust had only been open two days and- according to Kayt's 'hipster friend' who tried to get in to the opening party- on the first night it opened they were turning people away in their masses.

On Friday it was chucking it down, so I figured there wouldn't be as many people trying to get in, considering a large part of the venue is an outdoor terrace. For Some Reason I decided that it was the perfect opportunity to showcase my new peach, tiered skirt from Zara. As it's so long, I had to gather the hem up and hold it in my hand as I walked through muddy puddles. In my head I was a princess, dashing through the rainy streets of Paris with grace and style... Unfortunately, the skirt is completely see-through and the long black vest I was wearing underneath kept riding up so, as I was holding an umbrella in one hand and the skirt in the other, I had no free hands to keep the vest from riding all the way up to my hips... Therefore the whole world could see my knickers and if I'm honest it kind of ruined the whole princess fantasy.

Here's the skirt by the way: (Oh my god I've just seen on the Zara website that it is 100% Polyester and completely machine-washable! I spent ages hand-washing it the other night and it's not even clean. Humph.)

Me, Julia and Kayt went to Olivia's for pre-drinks and Ricky messaged me to say he wasn't going to finish work until late so he wasn't coming. It looked like it was just going to be the four of us, but then Harriet messaged me to say Maisie was staying with her for a few days and that they wanted to meet up...

Anyone who has been reading my blog for a long time will know that Harriet is the first friend I ever met in Paris and she introduced me to Maisie, who was my partner in crime during the first Dubstep DJ episode... She left Paris after a couple of months because she didn't like her au pair family and even though Harriet still lives in Paris, I haven't seen her for about a year because we move in different circles...

So, I told Harriet and Maisie the location of the club and arranged to meet them in there, then Julia drove me, Olivia and Kayt to Wanderlust...

We first saw it from across the water, a strange snake-like tube of green light, that seemed to hover in the air. Once we got over the bridge we realised the glowing tube was a glass corridor, attached to the outside of a building that had huge windows all the way around.

Julia pulled up outside and we sat in the car finishing the beer Julia had brought (we gots a lotta class, kids!) but a suspicious looking man knocked on the window and said we had to pay him 20 euros to park there. We drove around looking for somewhere else to park and ended up finding a quiet street on a bridge, quite far away, but luckily there was a shortcut, down some steep steps, that lead us back to Wanderlust.

I was worried that there would be a huge queue and we wouldn't get in, but either Heidi isn't very well known in Paris, or the rain deterred everyone from venturing out, because when we got to the entrance we walked straight through.

The terrace is huge- I can imagine it will be really fun in the summer when the weather gets hot. (If the weather ever gets hot.) As it's on the Quai d'Austerlitz, it's on the edge of the water, so you can stand on the terrace and look at the glittering river. I like the location a lot. (It's not far from Le Batofar actually.) Inside, it wasn't as impressive. It's certainly nice and modern and expensive-looking, but Heidi was playing a room that had floor-length windows looking out onto the street, so people walking past could look in and see you dancing. As there were bright street lamps outside, the lighting inside was rubbish- it wasn't dark enough to get a proper rave on.

Although, we tried our hardest, staying right until the end. Harriet and Maisie showed up and it was nice to see them again- we lamented how, when we first came to Paris, we struggled to find any good clubs to go to and by the time I started finding my way around properly, Maisie had already left. 

The crowd in there was mixed- old people, young people, a couple of hipsters but mostly normal boys and girls, who seemed to have come to check out the new venue rather than to dance to the music. One guy who Kayt was chatting to gave us, very suspiciously, a bottle of beer and a whiskey and coke. I asked him to taste the whiskey and coke in front of me and he took a sip, before spitting it out and throwing the glass to the floor...

These are dangerous times we're living in, girls. You've got to keep your wits about you.

The DJs on after Heidi were two French guys who were supposed to play until 6am, but at 4am the dance floor was looking decidedly empty, so the manager came over and told them to stop playing. The lights came up and it was time to go home. Me and Julia were talking to the coat check-in girl, who happened to be English, and she told us that they were closing early because there wasn't really enough staff. Me and Julia excitedly ran up to the manager and asked him if they were looking for people. I love the idea of working in somewhere called Wanderlust- what a lovely name. He told us to come back the following day with C.Vs, but obviously we didn't. Ideas that seem so amazing when you are fucked never seem so appealing the next day, do they?

Maisie and Harriet were going in a different direction to us, so we said goodbye and I promised them I'd mention them in the blog, they said they both still read it!

Julia was going to stay at her Gentleman Friend's house, but he didn't finish work for another two hours, so she decided to sleep in her car until it was time to go to his. Me, Olivia and Kayt walked her back to the steep steps and on our way we bumped into the two DJs who had played after Heidi. They were really nice and said they remembered us as the only people really dancing. They were with this very skinny model-y girl who kept saying something incomprehensible to us, in English.

"Is she asking us if we want a choc ice?" Kayt said loudly.

"Kayt, she won't be offering us choc ices." I shushed her.

But it really sounded as if she was saying "Choc ice? Choc ice?"

Kayt was really up for a choc ice, but unfortunately, we eventually realised she was asking us if we wanted to go to Showcase, in the strangest accent I've ever heard. It was a real shame because we all hate Showcase, so we politely declined, but we all love choc ices.

We said goodbye to Julia, who assured us she would be ok walking up to her car on her own and on our way to the metro, me, Olivia and Kayt noticed a huge clock tower lurking in the near distance.

"It's Big Ben, on his holidays!" we decided.

We had a lively conversation with him and he told us he'd been mostly living it up on the Costa del Paris. Me and Olivia made him a cheeky, cockney chappy but Kayt wasn't convinced, she said she'd always thought that Big Ben would speak in a deep, posh baritone... But now she's met him she knows exactly how he speaks- he sounds just like me and Olivia doing our London LADs on tour impression.

Sometimes I read my sentences back and I wonder if anyone ever understands what I'm going on about?

Just before we got to the metro, we got a text from Julia:

My car has been broken into. I don't know what to do.

Before me and Kayt could digest the information, Olivia had already turned around and was marching back the way we'd come. As we walked past Big Ben we scolded him for not paying attention- surely from that height he would have seen Julia's car being broken into? But he was too busy drinking shots and being a LAD.

"You've let us down, Ben." we said as we walked past.

I knew he wasn't really Big Ben on holiday, but as we walked past I couldn't even look at him, I was so disgusted. He should have been there for us, he should have looked his fellow Brits Abroad.

We got to Julia and she was crying. I've never seen her cry before, it was horrible. Her car window had been completely smashed in and they'd pulled out everything that had been in her car- leaflets, books, work files, and littered them all over the street. They hadn't even taken anything valuable. They'd taken her favourite sunglasses, which were really cheap and a small blue bag that had nothing in it, but she was really upset about the bag. The awful thing is that they'd littered her stuff so far up the road, we could imagine them strolling up the street, chucking Julia's possessions on the floor as they went.

Julia wanted to go to the police, but I didn't think we should go in the state we were in. I hate the police and I don't trust them. Maybe it's years of my Nana shaking her head and saying "The police are the biggest gang in Liverpool!" telling me stories about how they snuck into my uncle's house and broke his nose with a torch when he was alseep in bed one night (I've no idea why, either), but I just don't trust them.

Shit I have to go to my au pair job now, byyye for now.


  1. Go to this! Go to this! Followed by Concrete!
    TC x

  2. This is quite brilliant. I get what you mean when you personify big clocks, can't gerenough of it.

    She was a twat, a choc tease.

    1. Ha! 'choc tease'. I would have loved a bloody choc ice.

  3. "C'est les kiffeuses! C'est quoi kiffeuse en anglais?"
    "Non, c'est pas ça"
    "It is though babe, DJ lovers"

    He was such a choc.

    Liv x

  4. Ahh! I reallu didn't know what was going on at that point, I thought YOU said 'We're the kiffeuses' and you were pissed off because he said 'What does that mean?' I thought you'd been really clever and made up a new word in French that he then denied. Your version makes a lot more sense. What a dick, of course it means lovers. Ahh and that's why they were pointing at us because we were clearly the most enthusiastic people in there!! Ahhh.... now I understand all things. x