Thursday, 14 June 2012

Amy's Visit

Woah woah, I'm so behind on my blogging  I don't know where to start. Let's see if I can bash it out in one go, the last few weeks squished into one blog post... No lengthy detail, just snippets and snapshots...

Amy's visit, I never told you about Amy's visit! She came into Kayt's flat and disappeared into the bathroom with her bag, telling us she didn't want to spoil the surprise. A few minutes later she emerged, holding my CLOAK. It was just how I'd imagined, except better. It's very long and heavy, made from black velvet with a huge hood and a label inside that says 'The Lost Girls', the name Amy is going to use when she gets her own label. I think she should forget everything else and just concentrate on cloaks and she can be the go-to label for full-length, hooded cloaks and when everybody starts wearing them (which they will) she'll rake it in and I can dance about, knowing I made somebody rich with my love of cloaks...

The cloak is completely reversible, on the inside there are pale purple and blue flowers, with swirly green vines and leaves. I can wear the flower side in the summer and save the black velvet side for winter, when the snow comes and I can stomp about in big boots and my cloak, the edges caked in powdery snow, like a real magical adventurer.

I don't know how she managed to squeeze it into her bag, but she did and now I have it hanging up in my room, ready for journeys to magical lands and fighting crime. Speaking of which, there is an English boy at work and he told me the other day that a lady had her phone snatched in the street, so he chased after the thief, tackled him and held him down while he waited for the police...

Do you know what I thought as soon as he told me that story?

Here is my crime-fighting sidekick!

You see, I was a little bit worried about how I would actually fight crime in my cloak, not actually being skilled in any ancient fighting styles like all decent superheroes. My plan was to simply jump out at criminals, wearing my cloak and say "Hey. Stop that." and in my head the criminals would always stop and run away, amazed and terrified by the sight of me in my cloak.


Just in case that plan doesn't work...

I kow have a sidekick who can do all the fighting for me! He has agreed, but hasn't yet thought of a costume, so we can't start crime fighting yet but when we do, I even have a cool name for him: Jack the Dagger. Together Cloak Girl and Jack the Dagger will clean up the streets of Paris, under the Superhero Team Name- Cloak and Dagger.

'Brilliant,' I can hear you saying, 'Amazing.'

Anyway, back to Amy's visit. The details are hazy now, but one night we went to Le Carmen, that bar that I said I would never go to because they had a physiognomist and I don't agree with the whole concept of allowing people into a bar based on their physical appearance. Well turns out I've got the moral fibre of a biscuit, because I dressed up in my jazzy purple trousers and went to Le Carmen, after everything I said on here about physiognomists and the places that have them.

We didn't have any problems getting in, mainly because we went so early, although we did put a bit of effort in. I think I even brushed my hair. Actually no, I don't think I did brush my hair, but I wore my high-waisted, patterned purple trousers with black shoe boots and a silky black jacket, if you were wondering. Was actually anybody wondering?


It is a beautiful place, I really, really think everybody should go there once. It's all pillars and floaty curtains, velvet chairs and mirrors in gilt frames...

I sort of understand why they turn so many people away now, because it's so small inside and it wouldn't be as nice if it was crowded. My Newish Friend Ruth's boyfriend was DJing (coincidentally he's one of the rappers that I went to see on my birthday last year- it's a small world) and I seem to remember that he played chilled out hip hop, although the music wasn't really the main focus. It isn't really a place for dancing, the music was part of the ambiance really, although a few people started dancing towards the end.

The cocktails were good, but at eighteen euros a pop, you'd fucking hope so, wouldn't you?

Yep, it's expensive, but worth a try just for the experience. The staff are really lovely, the decor is beautiful and the atmosphere was really chilled and calming...

The only problem is, we weren't in the mood to be chilled and calming, so after a couple of ridiculously expensive cocktails we headed to Chez Moune, where we had eight gin and tonics each. I know, it's absolutely disgusting. We weren't even that drunk. We stayed til the end and some guys Georgie had been chatting to asked us if we wanted to go to David Lynch's bar, Silencio. But then as we left Chez Moune, a strange thing happened. The bouncer suddenly went mad at us and physically pushed us out of the club, barging me up the stairs by the shoulders so that I was spininng round and round like I was playing Blind Man's Bluff. I had no idea why he was being arsey with us, like I always say, bouncers HATE me for NO REASON. At one point I stuck my arms and legs out so that I was blocking the doorway and he had to push and push to pop me out into the street. The next day Olivia told me that she tried the same trick and he had to pop her out of the doorway as well. Ha.

Who knows why he started picking on us. Olivia said maybe because we went into the toilets together, like all girls do, somebody thought we were doing drugs in the cubicle? But then why they would go and tell the bouncer, I don't know. Also, when we came out of the toilets there was a guy hammering on the door because he wanted to get in, so we told him to fuck off and then I'm sure I saw him talking to the bouncer straight after... Oh, I don't know.

Anyway, we walked for miles and miles with these guys, having a nice chat with them but wondering how much bloody further we had to walk. (The guys told us they all worked in 'music' and the next day Georgie told me that they are in a band called The Teenagers. I'd never heard of them, but a little Youtube research has revealed that they aren't my cup of tea and that's all I'll say.) I was pretty certain that we weren't going to get into Silencio- it is notorious for its exclusivity and apparently only lets people in who work in 'the media industry'. (I've just looked at the website and it is clearly a members club as well, but I'm not sure if they let non-members in after midnight.)

By the time we got to Silencio, it was half four in the morning and the bouncer told us they'd stopped letting people in, but perhaps he just didn't want to let us in. Defeated and drunk, us girls and one of the guys we were with went for croque-monsieur and chips in a bar on Grands Boulevards. The waiter was so rude to us and over-charged us, we think. Also, the guy at the next table said he recognised me and I realised that he works in the kitchen sometimes in the restaurant. At first we were chatting a little bit, but then the girl he was sat with had a face like a slapped arse and was sat with her back to us, so we tried to engage her with the conversation and she turned round and said "I'm French, sorry."

I know she speaks English because the guy she was with, who works in the kitchen, doesn't speak a word of French. She was saying it really sarcastically, as if we were automatically rude, French-hating bitches just because we were English.

So. That was one of the nights out we had when Amy was here.

I really can't remember what else we did, other than go to Le Mansart and Le Sans Souci, a lot. We kind of over-killed South Pigalle to be honest, since that weekend we've not been back. I don't know if I can ever go back to Chez Moune now either, after they so unceremoniously threw us out for No Reason. It was closing, but we were leaving. There was no need to physically drag us out of there.

Ok, I'm off to my au pair job now. Oh my god, before I forget, last night the nine year old told me her tooth fell out, so I asked her how much the tooth mouse (the tooth fairy apparently doesn't fly this far) gave her for it.

"Guess." she said.
"Erm... fifty?" I asked, not wanting to go too high in case she then felt disappointed by the actual amount she got.
"Lower." she said.
"Yeah, ten." she said.
"Well, if you get ten cents for every tooth, you'll have-"
"Ten cents!? You think I have ten cents????? He give me ten EUROS."

She pissed herself laughing for about five minutes, occasionally spluttering in between laughs "You think I have ten cents..."

Money, money money. Must be funny, in a rich man's world...


  1. i fucked my american c**t! haha as if you met the teenagers, have some french friends who love that song :)
    cloak sounds amazing xx

    1. They have a lot of songs with them talking over the top in monotonous voices, don't they? My cloak is amazing, one day soon I will get some photos up. Thanks for reading and thanks for the comment! x