Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Cloaks and Fans and Gastro

I've got gastro, how very French of me. I haven't eaten properly in two days, it reminds me of how I felt in Ibiza and we all know what that ended with: VOMITING on the DANCE FLOOR, if you've forgotten. I wish I could forget.

Anyway, I don't know what the hell is up with me but it's really annoying, last night we went to Chez Gladines for Kayt's birthday and I barely touched my duck in Roquefort sauce, even though it was very delicious. We had the same waiter that we had last time, a surly man called Nico who hates us just because a couple of months ago we all laughed in his face when he asked us: 'Do you want any sweetie sweets?' meaning did we want any deserts. I think he's quite sensitive about his English, because he always tells us that he used to live in English and speaks fluent English, but then we all try and speak to him in French and it pisses him off, even though we moved to France in order to speak French (well, that dream has kind of withered and died for me, but Olivia, Kayt and Georgie still soldier on and Make an Effort); so if he wants to speak English, then he should move to back to England.

We bought Kayt an Indian cook book for her birthday and as a Special Treat I said she could have some drawings I'd done of myself in a cloak. Ok I might have to quickly explain that...

So the other day me, Olivia and Kayt were on Skype with Amy and Amy was explaining about my cloak (she's making me one!! But I'll tell you more about that later) and I told her I'd done some drawings of myself wearing the cloak, just so I'll have a better idea of what I'll look like in it. Kayt, Olivia and Amy thought this was hilarious for Some Reason, but they weren't supposed to be funny drawings- they were just standard cloak drawings (me in cloak fighting crime, me in cloak going to the opera etc).

It just so happened that I'd taken photos of the drawings on my phone, because I was thinking of putting them on my blog for Useful Informative Purposes, but I've scrapped that idea after showing them to Kayt and Olivia- they howled with laughter for quite a long time, longer than is decent if you ask me. Anyway, I will not have my cloak made into a Laughing Stock, so the pictures will not be appearing on my blog. I've given them to Kayt as a birthday present, seeing as they brought her so much pleasure.

Despite being a bit of a Poorly Mardarse and not being able to eat anything, I had a lovely time. It wasn't even spoilt by Nico being Weird and Mean. I don't know why he hates us so much, we weren't even being rowdy last night, although at one point Georgie did chase him around the restaurant with a spoonful of chocolate mousse. I can't remember why.

OH! And guess what else happened!!


Ha ha.

You will never guess.

Just as we settled down at our table in the corner, I noticed a girl walking towards us, very obviously making a beeline for me.

"Hi," she said in a very confident, American way, "I know this is really weird, but do you write a blog called Left Bank Manc?"


I've never told anyone this before, but I often have little fantasies of people ear wigging my conversations and putting two and two together and then saying 'Are you the famous and extremely talented blogger Left Bank Manc?'

Obviously that is a very egotistical and ridiculous little daydream that would never EVER happen in Real Life. Except... it did.

"That's my blog!" I almost screamed in her face, "How... how did you...?"

I suddenly realised that I hadn't mentioned going out for Kayt's birthday on my blog and obviously, I'm ANONYMOUS and I've never put any photos of myself up on here, so... how the hell did she know I'm Left Bank Manc?

"Oh, my friend also reads your blog and she got onto your Facebook, so I recognise you from your photos. Maybe she knows you?"

I don't know why I didn't ask her who 'her friend' was, but now I'm thinking it could possibly be 'An American Au Pair in Paris' who I met up with a couple of times last year... Anyway, the important thing is somebody recognised me and she even said 'Big fan of your work.'

(To be honest she said it in quite an ironic way that suggested she actually was a very small fan of my work, but hey ho, this is my blog and I can spin it however I choose. So there.)

She said she's just moved to Paris and asked if I'd like to meet up some time. Georgie piped up and said she was welcome to come for birthday cocktails next week- she's having a bit of a shin dig and has invited looooads of people, so that should be fun and hopefully My American Fan, as I've decided to call her, will come because she seemed really nice and not at all weird despite the fact she knows what I looked like, even though I have never put a link to my Facebook up on here...

When I get my cloak, I might take some photos of myself in it just to show you, but I'll have to wear a mask. To be honest I am thinking of becoming a Superhero.

Right. I need to go to bed now. Terribly tired, you see. This weekend I was supposed to stay in and Be Good, as I was working in the resto Saturday and Sunday and after that time a few weeks ago when I went into work after the Versailles party, I vowed never to do anything like that again. On Friday night me and Kayt just ate chilli at her's and watched Geordie Shore...

But the problem with Geordie Shore is that although it makes excellent viewing, their drunken antics 'out on the toon' also make you want to go out and partake in some drunken antics yourself. By eleven o'clock we were Googling what was on that night in Paris and at six am I came home after a very messy night, wondering how I was ever going to get up in the morning. As predicted, the next day at work was terrible, but I did have a Good Night. We went to see The Hacker, Simon Baxter and Arnaud Rebotini at La Machine- a good venue, not full of dickheads.

Anyway, that's all for now. Next time I'll tell you about my trip to England. In the meantime, if you think you see me in a restaurant, just holler at me y'all. My friend might even invite you out for birthday cocktails...


  1. That is very French of you! I'm dying to see those pictures of you in a cloak though, I'm sure they're awesome! Also, blog famous, woo!

    1. All right I might upload the pictures then... Thanks for commenting!

  2. You have to upload the pictures and then actually give them to me. I don't think i'll ever feel blue again with those in my purse. Kayt

    1. Don't feel blue darling, I might do you a special drawing of me wearing the cloak riding a dragon xx

  3. umm so I was eating a packet of aero bubbles today.. and a bit of my tooth fell out! fffts, at least now you now this shit doesn't just happen to you! Though fortunatly for me I live in Scotland..

  4. No way! I'm never eating Aero again. I've still not got my tooth sorted out... Thanks for commenting, thanks for reading! : )

  5. I aaaaaalways read daaaaaaaaaarling..... errr... I am not a stalker :/

    1. I know you're not darling... : )

  6. We didn't laugh THAT much. Plus you got your own back when you threw millions of indian aniseed sweets all over Kayt's laptop.

    ACH! You all need to clean your teeth better.

    Love from a pair of dentists' daughter.