Tuesday, 6 December 2011

No Plaster Moons In The Afternoons

I've been a bit of a Slack Alice of late when it comes to the blog, mainly because my laptop is behaving like a sick person, or more accurately, a hypochondriac. There is nothing the matter with it and yet all of a sudden, for no reason at all, it has started freezing and going jarr-jarr-jarr-jarrrrrrrrrzzzzzzgghhh when I try and listen to songs or stream TV programmes. Sometimes it freezes while it is emitting these annoying robot noises at the top of it's tinny voice and I have to hide my laptop under the duvet to avoid receiving any more annoying post-it notes from Mystery Neighbour.

Did I tell you about that? I have come home three times now to find a conspicious yellow slip of paper stuck to my door, with no name or introduction, just a snidey little complaint such as: 'Pas de bruit dans le nuit.' (No noise in the night.) No noise in the night??  Are you suggesting I have previously made noise in the night, Mystery Neighbour, or are you simply writing down random rhymes? If I ever find out who is it, I might start leaving random rhymes in return: 'No yawning in the morning' 'No plaster moons in the afternoons.' Although, I guess I'd have to write them in French... Pas de voir dans le soir?' I think that means 'no seeing in the evenings' but with my level of French, it could just as well mean 'Tram Door'.

Anyway, sorry it's been A While. I have a few things to tell you...

The Stupid Fucking Restaurant Job has been going quite well (touch wood) recently, mainly because I haven't actually been waitressing. They started putting me on the bar a couple of weeks ago and it's soo much easier. Even when it gets really busy and mad, I kind of have my own tasks to do, although it depends on the Shift Manager. There's a couple of really nice ones who let me do my own thing and honestly I am not being a Non-Team Player, but when left to my own devices, things run quite smoothly behind the bar.

But when I'm working with this other Shift Manager, an English girl who really, really likes telling people what to do, she comes behind the bar and tries to Get Involved. I don't know how old she is, but it's possible she's slightly younger than me, or the same age. How can people be so bossy? I understand managers need to 'delegate tasks', but don't be an Annoying Prick about it. She tells me to do things as I am already doing them. It is the most irritating thing in the world, to be unloading a tray of newly-washed, hot, heavy crockery, and for her to glide over (in her high heels, so she can't run down to the kitchen in case she trips), and say 'You need to do the dishwasher.'

Oh no, I think I've got that thing where you think your job problems are worth talking about and everyone else is thinking 'What the fuck are you talking about? You are so boring I want a sharp-beaked bird to come along and tear off my ears.'

In actual fact, most of the time, the Stupid Fucking Waitressing Job is going reasonably well, as long as it continues to actually be Ok Bar Job, which is what I was looking for in the first place.

But. Isn't it always the way, that when something starts going ok in your life another aspect falls spectacularly into the realm of the Very Shit?

I'm talking about my au pair job. There was a time, for the first couple of months, when it seemed to be going Quite Well. But recently, I'd say for the last few weeks, I've been living in denial that Shit Au Pair had made an intimely come-back from the shadows she's been loitering in since July...

Yep, she's back. Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the streets of Paris, here she comes, staring into space and looking miserable for no reason. She wanders aimlessly, leaving a trail of broken toys and poorly planned meals behind her...

Shit, I need to get ready for work now, but I'll tell you about The Return of Shit Au Pair this afternoon.

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