Monday, 7 November 2011

Time Window

Work at the restaurant wasn't too bad today! It was absolutely dead and I was on the bar for the first time, so I was just making drinks and polishing cutlery- it was Excellent. Also, the shift manager was an English guy who is really nice and the only other person working was the Danish girl and we got on fine today, although I pleasantly asked her how her party went (that I wasn't invited to) and it transpires that she invited Aggressive Australian Chef. Maybe they have shagged or something.

Anyway, I have a little Time Window so I thought I'd do a quick blog. How busy am I?? I have 'windows of time' now, whereas before I started this Stupid Fucking Waitressing Job I had wide open plains of time, I had meadows and forests and oceans of time and all I did with them was sleep and look at pictures of really obese people on the internet...

Nowadays I am extremely busy. I'm completely swamped, darling. Today I've worked in the restaurant, I'll be doing my au pair job later and this morning I had my Drama Lesson Thing. It went quite well today, although I was only assisting the lesson really. The French actress who was teaching had to keep yelling at the kids in French to make them behave, even though there is supposed to be No French in the class at all. I don't know what's going to happen when it comes to teaching them on my own, but in a way I'm looking forward to it; even though they are quite naughty and a bit loony, I like the class a lot. Today some of the boys sang an English song that they learnt in school last year and it was the Best Thing ever, seeing them so excited and having fun and learning at the same time. I really would consider being a teacher if I didn't think I'd be so crap at it. Also if schools didn't start so early.

After the lesson the French teacher asked me if I wanted to 'grab a coffee' although of course for me that means tea, because the taste of coffee makes my taste buds want to run away and hide in a dark corner, shuddering. (They never actually do of course, but then again I rarely subject them to the taste of coffee, because I don't care much for it myself. I only make them taste coffee when there is coffee cake on offer, or chocolate-covered coffee beans that look exactly like chocolate-covered nuts.)

The French actress/teacher is really lovely and the good thing is she thinks it's rubbish that I've lived here for over a year and I don't speak French, so she frequently talks to me in French, as she says it's the only way I'll learn. She has an eleven year son and she asked me if I'd be available for babysitting sometimes AND she said she'll pass on my details to her friends if they want an English teacher. So she might throw some work my way, plus it's good to speak French with her. She said that the best way to learn another language is to get a boyfriend who doesn't speak English, which people have told me time and time again, but I can hardly put an announcement in the FUSAC can I?

Wanted: French man for Sexy Times and Conversation. Must not speak English. If you can understand this announcement, you are not a suitable candidate.

She said "I know some Nice French Boys, I will introduce you."

People say this to me so often in Paris that I have stopped believing them. It's really weird, whether they are French or English, as soon as they find out I am single, people say "I know some Nice Boys! I will introduce you."

As if I will take any Nice Boy and that they will take me just because we are both single. Can you imagine how awful it would be if I actually went on a blind date? I can barely hold a conversation with my co-workers, who I have known for almost a month now and who all speak English. What would I say to someone I don't know, in French? Oh God, I am cringing just thinking about it.

Oh shit, I have to go to work now, but later I will write about the weekend- I know there are millions and millions of avid readers out there who are just desperate to know how I spent my weekend.


  1. Argh, yes, the "you need to get a French boyfriend" thing. I've been here for two years, I haven't just been waiting all this time for someone to make the suggestion! Even worse, the other day a friend rang me up and said she'd met a single girl* that she wanted to introduce me to so we could go looking for men together! Clearly I've slipped down a rung of the ladder to the point where people don't even bother trying to set me up with a man, they try to set me up with some sort of long-term man-finding support system instead...

    *And at first I thought she said she'd met her 'on the train' which I thought would have been a very weird situation, but turned out it was 'on a training course'.

  2. Ha ha, now single girls can't even be trusted to find our own friends, we need coupled-up friends to do this for us as well!

    Laura, I'm going to put it on craigslist, I'll let you know how it goes...