Sunday, 20 November 2011

The Return of the Ridiculousness

I'm so sorry I haven't written on here for a week, I think it's the longest time I've ever gone without posting anything! I have so much to write about, but I need to do it tomorrow when I have more time, so I can sit down properly and tell you the whole sorry story.

It's all Amy's fault. I've worked out she is the reason we did so many Ridiculous Things last year on nights out (getting tear-gassed, narrowly escaping gang rape by the river, sitting on park benches drinking wine instead of going into bars like Normal People...) because so far this year (academic year, I mean) I haven't done anything too Ridiculous, but Amy is here for a week and so far we have been the cause of a mass brawl in the street, had a dispute with two boys on scooters and one of us had a one night stand, I won't tell you who but it certainly wasn't me because, as regular readers will know, about seven months ago I took a Vow Of Celibacy in an effort to limit the amount of Ridiculous Things I was getting up to.

Other fabulous things that have happened since Amy has come to visit:

-I put my watch in the washing machine
-I left my favourite (only) scarf in a club
-My laptop is fuuuucked
-I lost my passport. Yep. Don't talk to me about it, looks like I'll be going home for Christmas crouched down between two crates of Camembert in the back of a lorry.

On the plus side, Amy brought me Dairy Milk, Haribo sweets, Maryland cookies, English magazines, an advent calender and she even smuggled in some Tesco Extra Special Pork and Red Onion Sausages. I've eaten all the chocolate, sweets and biscuits (and most of Kayt's), but the sausages are in my freezer; I can eat them on Christams Day if I really do get stuck here because I lost my FUCKING PASSPORT.

Anyway.

In preparation for my amazingly detailed account of the Ridiculous Weekend we have just enjoyed, you should read these posts about Le Longhop, because that is where we went on Saturday and let's just say that the past came back to haunt us...

Ghetto Princesses Part 1-
We instigated an aggressive dance-off and made some new friends

Ghetto Princesses Part 2-
Our 'new friends' stopped us from being gang-raped and one of us was tear-gassed. No, really

Villette Sonique-
The bouncer of Le Longhop wouldn't let us in and we got into a little dispute... unfortunately said bouncer featured very heavily in our night out yesterday/this morning


I'm really Paranoid now that everybody has lost interest because I haven't posted for so long, but I'll write the first part of my Ridiculous Weekend tomorrow morning, in the Time Window I have between teaching and waitressing. Please read it... I've lost or broken every single thing I own of value, you have to feel soz for me and don't stop reading.

Ok?

Ok.


13 comments:

  1. Can't wait to hear the weekend stories! My weekend consisted of working, drinking wine alone Saturday night, and doing housework all day Sunday. Never get married.

    If I lost my passport, I'd have to check myself into the hospital for the massive anxiety attacks it would certainly provoke. Hope it turns up somehow!

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  2. I can't wait to hear about the weekend either! I'm in the same boat as Crystal: working, housework, cooking (periodically checking for a new blog). I can't decide if I'm pathetic or not for living vicariously through you(r blog)and pretending to be 10 years younger. Hmph

    I'm sure your passport will turn up! Maybe it was in the laundry with the watch? ;)

    If you do stay here for Christmas, maybe your Mom can visit you? You could bribe her with the great Christmas Markets here!

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  3. That's really snaz.

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  4. Oh Katie and Crystal! I feel bad that you are living vicariously through me, because sometimes my life is very boring. I promise I will write up about my weekend today, and you can relive all the vaguely interesting/slightly horrific things it entailed...

    I hadn't thought it could be in the washing machine, but I'm sure I checked, oh god. I really, really hope it turns up!

    Kayt and I'm assuming Amy with the 'pure snaz' comment, sensible comments only please, this ismy Very Serious and Profound blog.

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  6. Please do continue with your very sensible and profound blog. It helps keep me young and makes me laugh. Better than ummmm.... all those kinds of stuff that really old people are supposed to take.

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  7. Pure snaz actaully wasn't me but the expression is clearly spreading like wildfire and I will soon be very famous.
    As for the very serious accusations ? It was not 'we' who was responsible for the mass brawl was it ? It was you. Toute seule.
    It may be my fault we never go home but you could always say no LBM !
    And don't complain, its fun. We have laughed a lot since I returned. Which everyone knows is extremely good for your health, ergo I am good for your health.
    Et c'etait snazz, non ?
    Amy
    x

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  8. Oui c'etait pure snazz! And now I am going to write all about it...

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  9. It was ME, Olivia, your friendly neighbourhood stalker.

    PURE SNAZ.

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  10. Ha Ha I thought it might have been you! See you in a bizzle for some lovely food!

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