Tuesday, 28 June 2011

My Arch Nemesis Is Coming...

Guess who is coming to take the kids out for the day tomorrow, do give me a 'breathe'?

Dun dun dun...

Fresh off the plane from saving pygmie gorillas in the rainforest (probably)...

Super Au Pair.

I can just imagine the scene: It's tomorrow morning, I'm hungover as I am going out tonight, sweaty and sunburnt and yelling at the kids. The doorbell rings. I answer it to find a Jessica Alba-lookalike stood in the door, deeply suntanned and cool in the heat because she has just flown in from her native Australia.

"G'day!" she will say.

Before I can form a sentence, the kids will run past me, jump into her arms and they will bounce, all chattering away to each in fluent French, about the Black Eyed Peas and Micheal Jackson, who I'm told on a regular basis Super Au Pair 'loves'.

What a dick.

I can't believe me and Super Au Pair are going to be in the same room together- we are arch nemesises. Who will win in a battle of the au pairs, Shit or Super. I think we all know the answer to that.... BUT I am hoping that although she is a Super Au Pair, she will also turn out to be a Super Gimp.

I will let you know how it all goes down...


  1. If it makes you feel better I'm no Super Au Pair myself. First they were going to hire an Australian girl and when she asked to talk to their previous au pair, they put her in touch with their last Australian au pair...from 3 years ago. Then just today she had me pre-enroll the new girl at the French school and she sealed all the stuff in an envelope so I couldn't see it but they gave me the receipts without an envelope and I found out the girl they're hiring is from a town like 1 hour away from me and they never even told me. I think they are afraid I will tell them how terrible they all are...I mean, I'd try to be nice. But I just found her on skype and sent her a message so....hahaha family, joke's on you.

  2. That is so sneaky of them not to let her talk to you! I'm glad you found her on Skype so you can fill her in. But maybe they think that where you are from breeds good au pairs and that is why they have got someone from nearby...

  3. haha did you hear about my angry rant when I told the boy I can't wait to never see him again? I don't think that was their logic behind it lol

  4. I've just caught up with your blog- I can't believe you have to read to the fourteen year old boy, what a Fat Mess.

  5. haha where's the followup on your showdown the S.A.P.?