Guess who is coming to take the kids out for the day tomorrow, do give me a 'breathe'?
Dun dun dun...
Fresh off the plane from saving pygmie gorillas in the rainforest (probably)...
Super Au Pair.
I can just imagine the scene: It's tomorrow morning, I'm hungover as I am going out tonight, sweaty and sunburnt and yelling at the kids. The doorbell rings. I answer it to find a Jessica Alba-lookalike stood in the door, deeply suntanned and cool in the heat because she has just flown in from her native Australia.
"G'day!" she will say.
Before I can form a sentence, the kids will run past me, jump into her arms and they will bounce, all chattering away to each in fluent French, about the Black Eyed Peas and Micheal Jackson, who I'm told on a regular basis Super Au Pair 'loves'.
What a dick.
I can't believe me and Super Au Pair are going to be in the same room together- we are arch nemesises. Who will win in a battle of the au pairs, Shit or Super. I think we all know the answer to that.... BUT I am hoping that although she is a Super Au Pair, she will also turn out to be a Super Gimp.
I will let you know how it all goes down...