Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Shit Au Pair

I really, really am Shit Au Pair. I got to work this morning, late because I didn't get out of bed until 8.30am which is when I'm supposed to start, and the mum gave me a huge lecture about being the 'mistress of her house' and leaving peas on the floor. I don't want to be the mistress of her house. I want to sit in bed eating cake and watching Jersey Shore.

She was annoyed because last week they ran out of yoghurts and she sent me a text on Friday night saying 'We cannot invite people round if we have no yoghurts' and I pictured her, stood looking into her empty fridge, composing the text furiously while her eighteen dinner guests sat in the other room holding their teaspoons, blissfully ignorant of the impending yoghurt disaster. Sometimes they forget that the French Way is not the Only Way. She said 'use your initative' but it is not common sense to always keep up a supply of yoghurts- in fact if I was at my friend's house in England and they offered me a yoghurt, I would say 'no, don't be weird.'

So anyway she was going on about that this morning, in a nice 'I know you are Shit but please I am loosing the will to live with your scrubby, scruffy housekeeping' way. Then she tried to explain the 'schedule' to me, which involved a lot of faffing about dropping off various children at various friend's houses, and for Some Reason I had to make sure the five year old was in his Spiderman costume at 3pm.

The eleven year old had her tutor round at lunch which was awkward as fuck and then while the lesson went on, I was supposed to do laundry etc but I accidentally had a nice, two hour nap on the eight year old's bed and then when I woke up I was late for getting the five year old and putting him in his Spiderman costume.

Now I just have the eight year and her friend and I know there is something important I am supposed to be doing but somehow I am on my laptop, eating biscuits.


  1. Oh I do love your blog...Im currently in Mexico City, on my own. My luggage has been lost by the airline and I have no clean clothes. As a result Im going to miss my bus to the volunteering place Im supposed to be spending a month at as part of my gap yah, yet Im using up my precious internet cafe time to read your blog, because I do love it, I really do. Yeah, that sounded a bit stalkerish...Im sorry.

  2. Oh my god are you being serious? I am HONOURED you are reading my blog and TERRIFIED on your behalf. Don't worry, everything will one day be a delightful anecdote you can tell at parties. Mexico City... wow. I hope you get to the volunteer place! Keep me updated or I will always wonder if you are still there, stranded at mexico city airport...

  3. Ohhh my God, your blog cracks me up. Read the two au pair entries on the nav bar - hilarious.
    I'm just starting to be an au pair in Paris this year! From now until the end of June. Family's in Clamart (Zone 2), five mins from Paris which is nice.
    I didn't realise that €80 is the average! I felt lucky to get that!
    We shall soon see what they really think of my going out practices when it comes to this impending weekend haha.

    Are you still in Paris? Sounds like a drink with you would be awesome!

  4. I am not in Paris at the moment, but I am returning in a couple of weeks... so as long as you are not a murderer and pervert pretending to be an au pair, we can indeed meet for a drink if you like!

  5. Hey! Only just saw this on a return visit - you should setup reply notifications.
    Lol I was waiting for that. Well you can check out my shitty blog, etc if you click on my name. And if you message me here then I'll link you to my FB and whatever :)
    See you soon maybe!

  6. I have tried to do that but I can't figure out how to do it... that would be useful as I always comment back to people and I'm not sure if they know or not.

  7. I think it depends upon whether they choose a specific platform (Wordpress/Google/etc.) or just Anon/Name+URL. Though I can't be sure as I haven't used one of the specific platform ways of logging in. However I can I confirm that Name+URL doesn't deliver replies (no email supplied).
    I don't know whether blogspot allows you to use Disqus? That's a great commenting plugin.

  8. events, Making traveling to other countries much more social. Find someone who has a spare room or a friend to show you around. Promote your town or event.