Last night my bed was worse than I thought. There were belts and spoons as well as all the other crap I mentioned and I just swept it all onto the floor. Now I feel like I'm living in a bin.
In my last post I didn't make Belgrade out to be particularly scenic did I? But it is, it's beautiful, it's just that me and brother went down a lot of back streets on our little walk, and along the railway tracks, so I don't think we really saw the nicest bit of Belgrade.
My cousin's wedding was in this old fort at the top of the city, overlooking the Danube river. The venue was really, really special and I am not just saying that because it was my cousin's wedding. I don't know why but in the weeks leading up to the wedding I have been imagining a big tent in the middle of a flat field, surrounded by men in furry hats (I may or may not have got 'Serbia' and 'Siberia' mixed up in my head).
I've stolen a photo from the internet of the fortress, because I planned to take some nice photos as the sun was setting, but they opened the buffet at dusk, so understandably I didn't get a chance to take the photos.
It was a Nice Place. Inside there were pillars and white flowers everywhere and a string quartet (I might have made that up, but there were people playing violins anyway) playing at the top of the stairs leading down to a huge conservatory, which had a white canopy draped from the glass ceiling.
Outside there was a terrace with two levels. The wedding ceremony was held on the lower terrace, under an archway covered in ribbon and flowers and all the guests stood watching from the higher terrace. The ceremony was in Serbian and English and the Bride's sister read something out. I couldn't really hear her, but one of my other cousins was crying and smiling.
"What she's saying?" I asked her.
"I don't know, I can't hear." she said.
I guess some people are just determined to cry at weddings. I did get a bit weepy when The Bride first walked in. I thought: 'How lovely, she is all dressed up and looking beautiful and she has a whole room of people admiring her, all the attention is on her.' I can kind of see why people get married.
As well as the Danube, from the terrace you could look down into Belgrade Zoo, specifically into the concrete pens that held a forlorn looking lion and a sleeping tiger. There was also a wolf behind metal bars who was was pacing up and down, howling for the loss of his wild days...
(I stole the tiger picture from my cousin by the way. Unbelievable.)
Apart from the rather grim-looking zoo below, the venue was gorgeous. As we all arrived a little early, we waited in the bar at the top of the fort. My aunty and my three cousins (I know I keep going on about all these different cousins but I don't like naming people) came in a different taxi and for ages I kept spotting them in different parts of the fort, walking over bridges and round and round the bottom of ruined turrets in their high heels and fascinators, looking for the wedding.
I've never actually been to a wedding before, not to the service and the party, so everything was novel for me. When it was time for it to start, we went into the wedding and as we walked in the Bride's sister tied corsages around the girls' wrists and the Groom's sister put flowers in the mens' buttonholes. Then we had to greet the Groom which was a bit traumatic, because in Serbia they kiss on the cheek three times and I instinctively tried to dodge away after every kiss. Unfortunately there was a man filming every single person who walked through the door so my awkward groom-greeting will be on film forever.
In fact, the Cameraman filmed everything. I think some people found it a bit alarming (having an energetic dance to 'Hit the Road Jack' and then discovering that a man carrying a heavy-duty camera is filming your every move), but as a drama student and self-confessed Attention Seeker, I didn't mind so much.
It didn't take long for me to convince someone to get on the dancefloor with me. The band played lots of songs in English as well as in Serbian, not that I didn't appreciate the Serbian songs, in fact they were what I had been looking forward to the most.
"I can't wait until they all get in a circle and do Serbian dancing!" I told my cousins.
"That's Greek people and Jewish people!" they tried to tell me, but I would not be told...
Hmm, I might split the wedding into yet another part, as I have finished all my biscuits now and if I stay sat on my bed typing for any longer I will want to go the shop and buy some more. It's very annoying though, why do they only tell you how many calories there are in one biscuit? I'm not going to eat one fucking biscuit am I? How many are there in the whole pack?
Let's see... there's sixty-three calories in one biscuit, and there are twelve in a pack. I'm not very good at maths, but that means there's under a thousand in one packet doesn't it? That's all right then. I know you are supposed to eat 2000 calories a day, but I've been jogging twice this week so surely that means I can eat twice as many calories? Listen to me going on and on about calories like an Anorexic. I think I will just go to the Family's House and eat some of their biscuits.
I'll do Part 3 later, it will be good, honest, there are trumpets and Belgium people in it!