My vow of sobriety lasted three days, what the fuck? But I have also made a vow to abstain from Something Else, which I intend to keep for six months. My friend Who Shall Not Be Named has made it with me, but I will not tell you what it is. Let's just say it has a lot to do with my post about Fucking Crazy Men and I'll let you decide if I'm using that crude word as a verb or as an adjective. While we're on the subject of Fucking Crazy Men, I would like to congratulate Alice on finding the 'fat pussy hole song' that was played to my friend Who Shall Not Be Named, have a listen if you dare, but be aware that the crazy guy in question didn't play this actual song, he 'just' had a sample of the line that goes 'Pussy all big and wet, looking good and shit/smelling like dead fish' and he mixed it into a techno track on his decks, whilst he was naked, whilst in the middle of having sex.
And since this post is called 'Vows' let me just take a moment to warn you that me and my friends have something hilarious planned for Friday and the Royal Wedding. Somehow we all feel much more fond of the monarchy living in another country and on Friday we will be celebrating the Royal Wedding with hair rollers, Pimms and Eton Mess. And something else... that I will reveal on Saturday morning, probably. Ha ha ha.