Saturday, 16 April 2011

Myra Hindley: The Early Years

I don't feel guilty that I just woke up and it's half three, because it's the Easter holidays. While some au pairs get to go home and eat fish and chips for two weeks, I have to work all day every day for no extra pay, so I can do what I want on the weekend thank you very much.

This week hasn't been too bad actually, but only because the eight year old who hates me is on holiday with her cousins. I've just had the eleven year old and the five year old. On Wednesday I took them to the menagerie at Jardin des Plantes and at first I thought it was like a shit petting centre- they had goats and deer and stuff and a Reptile House. But then in the middle of the Reptile House there was a big glass thing with a crocodile in. Just a big massive crocodile lurking in the water amongst all the shit reptiles like tree frogs and grass snakes. At first I didn't think it was real but then it moved. It was a Real Dangerous Animal and I had been about to put my hands over the wall and poke it to show the five year old it was just a model.

For some reason, the mengarie had loads of empty cages- they had scenery and plants in and stuff, but none of them had any animals in them. One just had loads and loads of dead baby chicks at the bottom and I felt like we were in Jurassic Park when they see that empty compound with a goat in it but there's no dinosaur and they're like 'It won't eat the goat because it's tied up, it needs The Hunt'. I got a bit scared then because I didn't know what sort of animal was hiding in the shadows waiting for The Hunt. I went 'Maybe it's a dinosaur!' because the five year old loves dinosaurs but he just shook his head and said 'No. You crazy'. Then the eleven year old pointed out it was probably an owl. They are no fun at all these kids.

But we did have a nice time at the mengarie. They even had monkeys. And... They Had... A Real... Baby... Chimpanzee!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

It was in a huge glass cage thing all by itself, but they had put it right up against the glass so you could get a good look at it. It was asleep in a little blue blanket and he had his back to us but you could see the back of his little monkey head and his little pink ear looked like a human baby ear but not in a disgusting way in a cute way. Ahhhhh. Baby monkeys. Ahhhhhh. And it was surrounded by baby toys and mobiles. Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

So not a bad week. Yesterday me and Emma took my five year old and her four year old twins to look at a castle. I think they liked it, although every time we saw a picture of someone from the Middle Ages the five year old went "Is dead now." If we wondered who had built something or made something in the castle,in an effort to arouse the kids' interests, the five year old went 'Is dead.' Emma's twins got a bit scared so we started telling them about the princess that used to live there and one of them went "Where is the princess now?" and before I could stop him my five year old turned round and said "Is dead."

I kind of know what he means though. Wherever you are, whether you're stood at the top of a hill or on the corner of a street, I always think about the people who have occupied that exact same space. I think about them stood besides me, hundreds of years ago, with me there as well like a ghost from the future. I imagine them thinking and talking and breathing. They were a real, living person and now, as my five year old would say, "Is dead".

In brighter news, I'm going out tonight. I haven't been out for days and days and days. I got fifty euros for babysitting on Thursday (and a lift home in the car, not the scooter in the end, damn it) but unfortunately I have managed to spend forty five of it already. Erm... I have no idea what I've spent it on. Phone credit, metro tickets... I still haven't got my make-up back. I'm almost getting used to going out in public looking like Myra Hindley: The Early Years. Last night I even drank a drink in a bar with no make-up on. Next thing you know I will stop pining for a nose job and learn to appreciate my Good Health and Fortune and realise that there are more important things in life than having a nice nose and wearing make-up...

Ha ha.

Anyway, I'm going to ask Amy if maybe, possibly, is there any chance at all, I can use some of her make-up for tonight. Anna is in London now so have no idea how I am going to get mine back and I can't afford to replace it, unless I improvise. I wonder how effective a foundation I could create by mixing some crushed up biscuits with my moisturiser?

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