Last night, just as I was about to go to sleep, I suddenly wondered where my Mulletover ticket was. I had it posted to Kat's house and she brought it with her last weekend. I had two flashbacks- one of me putting it in my fruit bowl, and another of me throwing an envelope away. I remembered thinking that the envelope was empty, but you know when you have a strange feeling that your subconcious is trying to tell you something?
I turned my room upside down, trying not to panic. Then the desperation kicked in and I started chucking everything onto my bed, looking behind my fridge and under the wardrobe. The furniture in my room is falling to pieces anyway but after last night everything is all slanted and precarious and one kick away from falling down after I shoved and pulled everything away from the walls in search of my Mulletover ticket.
That morning I had taken my bin out and put it in the big communal bin at the end of the corridor. That memory of me picking up an empty envelope kept coming back to me and in my mind I could only visualise the back of it. Did I even look at the front? Why was this memory coming back to me? I had a horrible feeling I knew why.
I knew I had to go and look in the bin, otherwise I'd always wonder if I'd thrown a weekend away for the sake of not checking. When I'd put my bag of rubbish in the communal bin it had been the only one in there and I hoped it still would be. I went to the bin and couldn't really see much because it was so dark, but I saw the shape of what looked like my rubbish bag sitting on the top, so I pulled it out and took it into the corridor.
In the light it was blue and mine was black. I realised it would have been easier for me if my bin bag had been the only blue one rather than one of many black bags. Was I really prepared to look through thirty other people's black bin bags before I got to mine, to maybe discover that my ticket wasn't even in there? I decided to check my room one last time before I delved in.
Two minutes later, I found it at the back of my Drawer Of Important Things, poking through the back of the drawer because it is a piece of shit and is falling to pieces. I wonder what would have happened if it had completely slipped out of the back and I never thought to pull the drawers out. Would I have really looked through everyone else's rubbish and then not gone to London next Saturday?
I dread to think. But it's ok, I have it now. It is in a little holiday wallet thing along with my passport in my top drawer. (I'm writing that on here in case I forget where I've put it again.) Can't believe I am going to London next Saturday for the Mulletover 7th Birthday!
The sad thing is, soon it will have come and gone, like everything. I can't get over this feeling at the moment. But every time I think 'Oh this really good thing will be over soon' I'm proved right when it ends. I know it's morbid but in the same that a really good weekend has soon arrived and fucked off again, so my youth will soon be bloody over and before you know it I'll be an old wrinkly woman telling my reflection 'I told you it would be over soon!'
And don't tell me I'm being ridiculous because I'm only 21, because everyone who turns 21 ends up dead or old.
Cheers, thanks, have a nice life.
On the bright side.... Tunisian man is back!!!! And so is his bountiful, free internet!!!