I can't do my French homework, it's too hard. I will never learn French. I can't even go in the bakery anymore because my French is so embarrassing. When I first got here I would bounce up to anyone and give it my best shot, but after four months of strange looks and rolled eyes, the Parisians have sucked out of me any hope I had of learning the language.
The whole point of me coming here was to learn French but I must re-assess the situation. My NEW goal is to go out a lot. That is it.
On Thursday we went to an English bar called Le Long Hop in the 5th arrondissement and got ridiculously drunk. We spent all night dancing enthusiastically around the pool table to 'indie classics' that made me feel as if we were in an indie club in Manchester, except there were was too much Gallagher brothers memorabilia for it to be completely authentic.
It was such a good night but the next day was Awful. I had to get up at 7am, ride the bus for forty minutes and then sit through my two hour French class without a drop of water passing my lips and we all know the only comfort when you are hungover is lovely water flowing into your body and unsticking your dry, buzzing brain from the inside of your aching skull.
After French class I had a horrible disaster with some frozen sausages that turned out to be, in fact, not sausages. Then in the afternoon I didn't have time for a nap so I drank as many brews as I could before starting work again. After work, came more work- I was babysitting. The two girls would not go to bed and there was nothing I could do to make them. I was arguing with them and trying to make the point that their mum had told me to make sure they were in bed for 8:45pm and the eleven year old said:
"But we are not with maman, we are with you and it is ok. You are young and you do not go to bed at this time, we must live your life, you go to the party, you play in the discothèques."
I'm ashamed to say she won with me over and as they watched cartoons on television, an hour after their bedtime had scuttled by pathetically, I sat beaming to myself thinking 'Yes, I am cool aren't I?' like a Stupid Twat Who Cannot Control Children.
But the little girl was right, I do play in the discothèques.
Last night was the first time in Paris that I have felt like I am at a proper rave. A few months ago Kat sent me a link for Mikix the Cat who is a Parisian DJ/music producer and ever since I have been looking about trying to see where he is playing, then on Friday he posted on his blog about a night at Le Batofar, a club that is a boat docked by the Seine in the 13th arrondissement.
It was thirteen euros in, which was definitely worth it, but it was ten euros a drink. Ten euros is pretty standard for Paris, but I thought it would have been a bit cheaper because it seems a bit grimey in there, in a good way. I mostly stuck to Red Bull, which was six euros, and tried to imagine I was getting a buzz of the caffeine.
The music was So. Brilliant. And because it is a such a small venue it felt really intimate and casual and the DJs were just dancing in the crowd before and after their sets. On the deck of the boat is a really big smoking area with loads of tables and chairs and people were just chatting and being Generally Cool and then downstairs was the clubby bit where everyone was dancing. Occasionally you could feel that the boat was tilting when there were too many people on one side.
I feel like now I have somewhere to take visitors and I will definitely go back. Whenever my friends went to the smoking area or to the toilet I opted to stay at the front of the dance floor by myself and it didn't feel weird at all, although to be fair I probably did look a bit weird. But I don't care! I had so much fun. We got the metro home at about half five and then a taxi halfway because for some reason Line 1 was fermé. But when I got in I didn't even feel tired I was still all excited and buzzing as if I had been taking drugs when in fact I'd just had a bottle of wine and two red bulls. It was the music. You know when really, really good music makes you feel high? Well it was like that, which is why I posted on here at about ten to seven this morning.
Typically I didn't take my camera out so I couldn't take any pics, but have a look with you ears: