Tomorrow I am going back to England for Christmas- PLEASE BABY JESUS.
I will definitely be stuck in London overnight because I’ll miss my train back to Manchester. I offered someone £100 to drive me back to Manchester and they said yes, but then I realised that it was only £20 to get the train back the following morning. I have a couple of places to stay lined up, but can't really organise anything as I have no idea what time I'll be able to get on a train. My train is at 8pm, but they have cancelled all trains and are reverting to an 'emergency timetable', so I have to turn up an hour before my original train was due to depart and queue for 'more than three hours.' By 'more' do they mean two minutes more or sixteen hours more?
HOLD THE PHONE.
I was just checking my emails and thinking what to write next, forget what I just wrote, look what Eurostar sent me:
We are pleased to advise that Eurostar has reverted back
to checking-in passengers for the service that you are
I better start packing.
I have completely given up at work, we have just been watching television all day and wrestling and on Monday they didn't even get out of their pyjamas. The mum has been telling me off and told me to take them to interesting exhibitions and things, but I literally have no idea how you are supposed to make kids do things.
There are three of them, I can't grab them all and dress them all and drag them all on to the metro. I can watch Shrek with them all and make them all eat ice cream.
If Super Au Pair was a comic I would definitely be the arch-nemesis- Shit Au Pair. I would have a touching back story, like one day I was an enthusiastic au pair too until the kids I looked after pushed me into a vat of radioactive pumpkin soup and I emerged as a vengeful orange-tinted maniac who smells like stock and forces kids to eat crepes for desert instead of for dinner. (The other night we had lettuce in balsamic vinegar, followed by ONE crepe with sugar, and they said it was their favourite dinner. The mind REELS.)
Being an au pair… let’s just say when I get back to England I’ll be booking myself in for a sterilisation.