Tuesday, 23 November 2010

The Sex Money Lives On

Well, nothing I write from now on will be as interesting as my Dubstep DJ Story, so there really is no point in continuing this blog. However, I am addicted to it now so I may as well continue and hope that one of these days someone else pays me one hundred euros for my taxi home so I get straight on to my blog and once again divulge what an outrageous skank I am.

Actually, I'm afear’d there ain't much chance of me shagging another Dubstep DJ in a long time, due to my Incessant Eating. On Sunday I went for a jog with Lauren in my new running trainers (purchased with Sex Money, thank you very much) and even though we were only out for twenty minutes, in my head the jog has given me license to eat whatever I want in massive quantities. I realised the other day that I've been eating so much food since I got to Paris because I went for one jog in JUNE and have subconsciously felt ever since that I deserve a treat after all my hard exercising. I think it is actually healthier for me to never go jogging again.

Since Sunday's jog I have eaten three massive bars of Milka Dime chocolate, one bar on Sunday night and two yesterday. I've always had a big appetite but I know somewhere in my heart of hearts that 300g of chocolate made with delicious dime bar pieces, on top of three meals and regular snacking, is not the key to a well balanced diet. On top of that, I've fallen in love with milk again and have been drinking pints of the stuff since I moved in to my new place and discovered the joy of shirking UHT milk, which most French families seem to love, for the fresh stuff. It's just so creamy and nourishing and delicious, but Lauren pointed out when she came round on Saturday that 'entier' means 'full-fat', not 'skimmed' like I stupidly thought. So I’ve been drinking about two pints of full-fat milk a day, plus three meals, plus macaroons and biscuits, plus giant bars of chocolate… soon I will be the size of a small moon.

But I can't help it! Look at the sort of thing I am forced to walk past every single day:

I'm definitely getting myself one of those fairy-themed cakes for my birthday this year. They are about forty euros but money will be no object to me because I have a terrible feeling I'll be all on my lonesome this year, as most au pairs are going home at the end of June and all the language assistants are going home at the end of April and my family need me until the end of July. And one of my friends has already left!

Maisie, my partner in sleazy-awfulness, packed up her shizzle and bombed it back to Britain on Sunday, because she couldn't face another Monday at work with her horrible family.

Sad times indeed!

If I hadn't had moved families I think I would have gone home at Christmas. I can't imagine my life now without eating out and endless cups of tea and my own place. Speaking of which, I've taken a picture of my hideous kitchen/bathroom hybrid AKA Frankenstein's Alcove:

I want to go to Ikea soon because there is one just outside of Paris and I could buy fairy lights and colourful spoons and shit to make my room look a bit nicer. Actually, I need to do some serious money calculating because I am thinking of heading back to Liverpool for a weekend in December as there is going to be a Drama Reunion Night Out. I rrreeeaaalllyyy would like to go and it will cost me about 150 euros but I feel I should adhere to my own motto 'You Only Regret What You Don't Spend' and in a way, all the shit I bought at the weekend I was going to buy anyway so I could think of my Sex Money as paying for my Liverpool Trip, although I can see the one hundred euros (or, after taxi fare, 84.50 euros to be exact) going the same way as that jog in June- I will use it an excuse to do whatever the hell I want for months to come.

Can I afford the Liverpool weekend? It would be good because I could stock up on high, high shoes and get my eyebrow threaded, but it will cost me the rest of my November wages. However, I will get paid again in December, but I might not get paid until the end of the month so I won't have any money for Christmas and I owe my mum £150. On the other hand, I've still got my credit card and I have suffered low pay and hideousness since September with Family Thrift so don't I deserve some extravagance in my life? And, I decided not to buy that 135 euro skirt and refrained from buying champagne the other day to go with my macaroons so really I've already saved loads of money this month...

To Liverpool then!!!

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